3 hours ago
5
1. "I had to explicate to an 18-year-old that you could get large adjacent if you're not married. I was friends with a miss successful precocious schoolhouse and we were discussing commencement control. She said she didn't request immoderate due to the fact that she and her fellow weren't married. Guess who was large erstwhile she graduated."
2. "Saw a ventriloquist enactment with my aunt. After the show, she said the dummy was funnier than the man. I said you cognize the dummy is the antheral right? She didn't know."
3. "That the prima doesn't travel you erstwhile you drive. It’s not stalking you, it's 93 cardinal miles away."
4. "A fewer years agone obviously, but I had to explicate that a fax instrumentality wasn't a insubstantial teleportation device."
5. "That Alaska is not an land and that it was connected to Canada truthful yes, you tin thrust from Alaska to Georgia. Her flabbers were gasted erstwhile a communal person mentioned his thrust from Alaska to Georgia erstwhile helium moved states."
7. "That the Earth has 1 moon. We were watching a sports crippled connected TV. The camera panned retired and it showed the afloat satellite implicit the stadium. I said, 'look astatine the satellite implicit the ballpark tonight' and her reply was, 'have you seen the 1 outside'. Swear to God."
8. "That the spread successful the ozone furniture was not caused by outer and rocket launches."
10. "How chickens mate. And that it doesn’t impact the rooster lasting implicit the eggs 'spraying' them."
11. "When I was a waiter grooming a caller waiter, I had to explicate that they request to hitch tables earlier sweeping because, if they expanse first, the level volition get soiled from cleaning the tables. Basically, that gravity exists. It was a agelong night."
12. "I had to explicate cervid crossing signs, aft being asked however bash cervid cognize wherever to cross. And no, I'm not borrowing this from that viral vigor bit. This concern happened years before."
13. "That Washington DC and Washington authorities are 2 abstracted places successful the US. In this aforesaid vein, that Puerto Rico, arsenic good arsenic the US Virgin Islands, Guam, American Samoa, and the Northern Mariana Islands, are each US territories, not overseas countries AND, their citizens are US CITIZENS! So, telling them to 'go backmost to their ain country' is truly damn anserine and ignorant (not to notation truly f'ing racist)."
14. "That erstwhile they bash the dishes determination isn't expected to beryllium nutrient connected them inactive and it needs to beryllium cleaned much thoroughly."
15. "Literally contiguous I had to archer a 23-year-old that you can’t enactment a takeout instrumentality afloat of leftover edamame successful the recycling bin."
16. "That being a nonmigratory of New Mexico meant she was American, and not immoderate benignant of English-speaking 'new' Mexican."
17. "I had to explicate to an big antheral that women don’t pee retired of their vaginas."
18. "North does not alteration based connected which mode you face."
19. "I've had 2 assemblage educated adults inquire if my commencement day changes each twelvemonth to lucifer the day of the vacation I was calved on."
Any of your ain to add? Let america cognize successful the comments below!
Additional Thumbnail Credits: Sony Pictures Releasing, Warner Bros., NBC, ABC
English (US) ·