4 hours ago
5
In my memory, determination are 2 dads: the Richard earlier intelligence unwellness — and the 1 after.
The Richard earlier ne'er seemed precise stone ‘n’ roll. He was conscionable different workaholic father, keeping his ceramic of an aboriginal mobile telephone close, adjacent connected vacations, and coming location precocious from the household business, the Great American Tent Company.
The 1 aft ... well, I effort not to dwell connected him arsenic much. But determination was a 3rd Richard I knew thing astir until aft helium was gone.
One time erstwhile I was 26, conscionable months aft my dad’s decease from congestive bosom failure, I visited to cheque connected my mom. I recovered her astatine the room array with a heap of well-worn manila folders fanned retired successful beforehand of her, an ashtray adjacent with a half-smoked associated inactive smoldering.
Mom was an aged eBay queen from the ’90s — she bought and sold Beanie Babies for nett backmost erstwhile that was imaginable — and I could archer she’d hunted up thing good. I looked closer. Each record had a celebrated sanction written connected it successful my father’s neat print: Lynyrd Skynyrd, Lionel Richie, Allman Brothers, Santana.
“What is this?” I took a spot crossed from Mom.
“Your father’s stone files,” she said, toking connected the joint. “He kept everything from his days moving Peace Concerts.”
“Peace Concerts?”
“Take a look!” I could archer she was precocious connected much than conscionable pot. She opened a folder and produced a yellowed missive that read, “The Birmingham Hyatt House volition not beryllium capable to judge immoderate further stone radical reservations. This directive is simply a effect of galore atrocious situations with these groups staying successful the edifice and particularly the malicious demolition caused by Lynyrd Skynyrd staying present implicit July 4th, 1975.”
The missive said the damages amounted to $500. I looked up astatine Mom, eyes wide, and we laughed. My soft-spoken dada had dealt with these philharmonic madmen?
“Richard said they were the nicest boys,” Mom said, “when they weren’t drunk.”
“You knew astir this?”
“Not this,” she said, taking backmost the missive and handing maine the joint.
“Why would Dad prevention this?”
“Eh, helium was a hoarder. But besides astir apt for taxation purposes.”
I dragged connected the associated and ruminated with the smoke. That was Dad, ever business-minded. However, I suspected determination was much to the story. He’d ever loved music, filled his days with it from the vigor oregon cassette player, oregon his voice, creaseless arsenic Southern syrup, oregon his acoustic guitars, which helium near me. He loved euphony until slump struck him down.
In summation to his bosom issues, my begetter spent the past twelve years of his beingness numbed by intelligence unwellness and antidepressants. Years ago, erstwhile helium began to gaffe mentally, helium paced our location astatine night, thought my parent was poisoning him, and believed my siblings and I were starving (even though we were each chunky).
I’ve ne'er been a large instrumentality of Valentine’s Day. Maybe that’s due to the fact that connected that time successful 2001, I came location from school, sensed thing was off, and asked, “Where’s Dad?” My ma told maine that she and my older relative had taken him to the hospital, that he’d tried to leap retired of the car connected the way, that helium was present admitted to a psychiatric ward. I was connected the cusp of turning 14, my parent 44.
Over the adjacent twelve years, arsenic I meandered done adolescence and aboriginal adulthood, I grew to resent this man, his apathy toward his household and adjacent his ain life, arsenic helium deteriorated mentally and physically. His nails grew agelong and yellow, his hairsbreadth dreadlocked into a mat of grey wire. And aft years of an all-fast nutrient fare and not taking attraction of himself, his bosom yet gave.
But present was my father, an energetic young promoter, successful folder aft folder of uncommon stone memorabilia: a declaration signed by the legendary guitarist Duane Allman, different by Glenn Fry of the Eagles, a promotional flyer featuring a 20-something Lionel Richie successful immoderate of the archetypal concerts the Commodores ever did — each shows my dada booked. He was a pioneer successful carving retired a caller Deep South performance scene, billing these stone shows arsenic “dances” because, arsenic Mom explained, going to concerts backmost past wasn’t yet accepted successful the buttoned-down Bible Belt.
Not erstwhile did Dad speech astir this to me. I wondered if helium was secretly ashamed that his dreams had deflated into owning a institution that supplied concerts with tents, tables and chairs alternatively of attention-grabbing endowment — a institution that started from the leftovers of those rosy stone days, with an aged red-and-yellow structure apical Richard enactment up implicit the signifier for his acts.
“Where did you find this?” I asked Mom.
She waved maine down the grungy, carpeted stairs to the basement, wherever a battered vessel of a record furniture stood tucked distant successful a nook. As a kid, I’d overlooked it a cardinal times, much captivated by the toys and committee games surrounding the 1940s-era metallic tower.
Opening a squeaking drawer, I saw it afloat packed with documents, an highly thorough insubstantial archive focusing connected Dad’s clip arsenic a performance promoter from 1968 to 1976. He’d saved it all: contracts, impermanent passes, flyers and posters, ledgers, photos, receipts (sometimes scrawled connected a barroom napkin).
Bathed successful the sickly, fluorescent basement lights, I was overwhelmed by the gravity of these artifacts. What to bash with each this?
Back upstairs, Mom and I discussed selling immoderate of the hoard. Dad had saved galore copies. But I was hesitant. “Some items should beryllium off-limits,” I said. Out of respect for Dad, for his story, for this broadside of him I didn’t know. Mom agreed.
So we went done each papers of Dad’s aged euphony promotion business, Peace Concerts. I work the people excessively tiny for Mom’s eyes and wrote descriptions portion she priced and categorized. For an eye-catcher, we chose a silvery, vintage poster of a bare-chested Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham erstwhile they were inactive a duo. My dada had booked the past concerts they did earlier joining Fleetwood Mac and made a bundle connected those fewer shows. The brace were treated truthful good that Nicks aboriginal said successful an interview: “We could articulation Fleetwood Mac oregon we could determination to Birmingham, Alabama.”
Mom and I decided we would not portion with the poster. However, we did marque glossy reproductions and merchantability them for $20 a pop.
On a too-bright outpouring time astir a twelvemonth aft Richard’s passing, I packed my mom’s car with the stone files and drove america to our archetypal grounds amusement astatine a modern, red-bricked normal center. Set up successful a ample country by sheet solid windows, we sold “retro philharmonic mementos” mostly to aged stone ‘n’ rollers and longhaired hippie-looking characters, each grizzled oregon grey now, immoderate with a limp oregon cane.
Yet erstwhile they browsed the faded posters and dog-eared flyers, a grin would interruption crossed their faces arsenic they remembered that packed after-party my dada threw for Stevie and Lindsey for their sold-out amusement astatine the Birmingham Municipal Auditorium, the past performance they played earlier merging with Fleetwood Mac — or however everyone’s ears were ringing aft that raucous Lynyrd Skynyrd performance astatine Rickwood Field successful ’74, the archetypal clip that radical performed “Sweet Home Alabama” successful the state.
For this generation, euphony was a spiritual experience, and my dada was astatine the halfway of it. Well, halfway backstage.
I fidgeted successful my seat arsenic I nodded along, jealous that it seemed similar these strangers knew my begetter amended than I did. Occasionally, 1 would squint astatine maine and say, “You look conscionable similar him.” It’s true. I person my dad’s red-brown curls and aggravated bluish eyes. Although I ever thought his shadiness of eggshell bluish was acold prettier.
Music was different happening we had successful common. Dad possessed a sweeter voice, but I was the amended guitarist. I didn’t commencement learning until I was 16, truthful helium ne'er played euphony with maine nor expressed an involvement aft the slump sank heavy wrong him.
Years into his isolation, I visited to execute for him. I must’ve been 20 and studying classical guitar, anxious to amusement disconnected my caller finger-style skills. But aft I finished my archetypal piece, a hard and delicate arpeggiated prelude by a Paraguayan composer named Barrios, helium snapped astatine me, “That’s good, and I won’t adjacent number those 2 mistakes you made.”
My pharynx clenched — my dependable evaporated. His receptor was inactive truthful sensitive. It wasn’t a spotless performance, arsenic he’d demanded of his section bands backmost successful the Peace Concert days — he’d told my parent however helium kept detailed, sometimes harsh, show notes from his spot successful the backmost row.
I wanted to drawback each my guitar strings. Instead, I ne'er played for him again. For years, a feeling of shame flooded implicit maine erstwhile I flashed backmost to that representation — and I carried my resentment astir wrong similar a balled-up wide of aged strings.
So it went astatine the grounds shows: After selling for respective hours, Mom and I would gingerly repackage everything backmost into her car, and I’d thrust america backmost home. We’d divided the cash, and I’d rotation america a joint. “For Richard,” we’d toast arsenic heavy bluish fume unfurled astir our heads.
“Did helium bent retired with the acts different than conscionable moving with them?” I asked.
Mom spot her articulator and thought astir it. Long ago, Richard told my ma immoderate of Peace Concerts’ past — however helium saved wealth from his occupation astatine the telephone institution to publication his archetypal acts, and however promoting was similar gambling and helium mislaid it each connected a atrocious tally of concerts wherever the summons income didn’t materialize.
“Not really,” Mom said. “He wasn’t successful it for that. He liked making wealth — and helium did it for the thrill.” The thrill of the risk, oregon of creating an lawsuit that would reverberate successful people’s minds for decades? She said she didn’t know.
My mom, Shari, met my dada erstwhile she was 22. A theatre large and techie, she’d conscionable blown retired of assemblage from Michigan State, headed 700 miles southbound earlier landing successful Birmingham and met him conscionable 3 days later, introduced done a communal friend. By then, he’d mislaid everything to performance promotion. Their archetypal “date” was him grilling steaks connected his patio, The Marshall Tucker Band’s “Can’t You See” playing large connected the turntable.
I asked Mom erstwhile she learned astir Dad’s stone days. She had to deliberation connected it — her hairsbreadth grey and down to her backmost now, dissimilar the acheronian bob she’d sported astir of my life. “After conscionable a fewer days together,” she said. “He said, ‘I’ll archer you my story, but lone 1 time.’”
“Whoa, it was similar that?”
She said helium hated aged concertgoers wanting to wax nostalgic with him astir the glory days. I figured Dad, similar me, ever had large dreams hounding him down.
Time spins similar a vinyl, and aft doing a fewer of these grounds shows and proceeding each communicative Mom knew, I began reaching retired to Dad’s aged friends and enactment associates from his promoting prime. Yet I heard the aforesaid happening I already knew: Dad was a “workaholic.”
“And however precisely did helium autumn retired of promoting?”
About this I’d heard antithetic stories. Mom had ever said he’d mislaid it each connected a atrocious performance tally with Joe Cocker, and that helium was distracted chasing a pistillate nicknamed “Little Red” who ne'er reciprocated my father’s interest.
But I’d heard much than 1 aged subordinate accidental that Dad had besides been outgunned by a hotshot New York promoter named Tony Ruffino who contiguous gets the recognition for putting Birmingham connected the representation for large stone bands. One aged stone buddy who utilized to bent up flyers and bash different promotional enactment adjacent said that Richard tried to spell rogue and correspond Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks connected his own, and for this the grounds biz blacklisted him.
“But what was helium similar arsenic a person?” I’d inquire these strangers who knew “the aged Richard.”
That was ever harder for them to answer.
“He was a backstage guy,” was the champion reply I got from a antheral named Wendell, a spouse successful an aboriginal booking bureau my dada founded and aboriginal sold. “He didn’t speech overmuch astir what was going connected successful his head.”
I became desperate, looking to our household albums and VHS tapes for answers. But here, too, Dad was the invisible promoter, truthful often connected the different broadside of the camera capturing/directing holidays and trips alternatively of being successful them. A backstage man, adjacent successful his idiosyncratic life.
Wendell suggested I sojourn the iconic 2121 high-rise successful downtown Birmingham to spot my father’s aged office, wherever helium built his Peace Concerts empire astir six decades agone successful what was past called “the penthouse,” country 1727. When I told Mom astir the idea, she smiled and said Richard utilized to constituent retired the 2121 gathering successful their earlier days, telling her helium worked astatine the apical successful an bureau with a view.
So I drove a half-hour into municipality to spot for myself, uncertain what Wendell thought I would find truthful clarifying there. Riding the elevator up, my reflection rippled successful the scratched, stainless alloy doors successful beforehand of me, looking similar a leaner, taller shade of my father.
On the apical floor, I saw lone 3 suite numbers: 1700, 1710, and 1720. I rang the doorbell astatine 1700, wherever a pistillate with graying blonde hairsbreadth and sleepy eyes answered. I explained I was penning thing astir my narration with my begetter and trying to hunt down his aged office. Albeit bemused, she was bully capable to fto maine successful and springiness maine a speedy tour.
She explained that this suite connected to 1720 but determination was nary country #1727, not adjacent 27 abstracted offices connected that floor. The spot had intelligibly been redesigned since my dada past stepped ft there. It was hard to judge that immoderate stone concerts were ever planned successful this present drowsy, overly air-conditioned space.
But what I did see, everyplace I looked, were sheet solid windows waist-high to ceiling. It was the benignant of abstraction wherever an overachiever could imagination large portion watching the satellite rotation down beneath — precisely similar thing I would prefer, for I request a model adjacent to write.
“I’m atrocious I don’t cognize immoderate more,” the bureau idiosyncratic said earlier walking away. I snorted a laughter and had to judge that I would ne'er cognize my begetter similar I wanted — that a past of objects tin uncover but ne'er resurrect — and besides that, to immoderate degree, he’d been determination close successful beforehand of me. That backstage but affable feline ever working, ever dreaming — that was my dad.
A twelve years aft my father’s passing, the days of selling stone files are done. My parent yet sold what was near successful the record furniture to a section collector who’s creating an archive of the Birmingham euphony country with the hopes of turning it into a museum. The archivist hauled distant that clanky metallic happening that, though lighter from less files, inactive had to beryllium hand-trucked retired by 2 beardown guys. But 1 day, Dad’s papers and accomplishments could beryllium connected nationalist display.
Mom kept a fewer favorites, including that black-and-white poster of Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, everlastingly frozen successful their 20s, everlastingly beautiful, boldly staring backmost astatine the spectator similar wild-haired stone gods. Mom displayed it successful her surviving room, a reminder of erstwhile she and Richard were young.
Over the years of selling stone documents, the genitor I got to cognize was my mom. Even though she often griped astir Dad not being much progressive successful kid attraction and housekeeping, I could archer portion of her inactive loved him — the mentation of Richard earlier the illness of slump stole him from us.
That’s wherefore she kept selling these uncommon items, not for the money, which she didn’t need, but to support his representation surviving and moving, conscionable similar the euphony they some craved.
Remembering is besides reacquainting. Although I thought I ne'er played for my begetter again, that’s not wholly true. I ne'er played for him successful person. While penning this essay, a representation returned to me: I utilized to support successful interaction with Richard implicit the telephone successful the aboriginal days of his decline, erstwhile determination was inactive immoderate small spark of the aged dada wrong him.
I must’ve been practicing guitar during a telephone 1 evening (a wont I inactive have) due to the fact that helium grew silent, listening to maine play. I stopped plucking the strings, anxious.
“You dependable good, son,” helium yet said. “Sound truly good.”
This nonfiction primitively appeared connected HuffPost successful June 2025.
English (US) ·