Men Are Revealing The "Immediate No" Red Flags Women Need To Stop Doing On First Dates, And I'm Baffled

Have you ever been connected a archetypal day truthful atrocious you earnestly thought astir walking retired mid-meal? Same. The reasons tin beryllium each implicit the spot — for 1 person, it’s conscionable chewing with your rima open; for another, it’s thing a small more...universal, similar them showing up wholly hammered with their garment connected wrong out. One person’s “aww, that’s charming” is different person’s big yikes. But honestly, conscionable hearing about people’s dating reddish flags is similar an ice-cold marg connected a sweltering, poolside time for maine — I tin not get enough!! It’s gotten truthful atrocious (or good?) that this is already my second station connected the topic.

So yes, we’ve already shared the first-date reddish flags men spotted connected Reddit successful a previous post — and past we turned it implicit to the BuzzFeed Community to spot if you had immoderate to add. And wow, you did not disappoint. The anonymous signifier popped off, the comments were buzzing, and present we’ve got capable waving flags to commencement a full-on windstorm. Hang connected tight...

1. "I took a miss retired to dinner, past later, we went backmost to her place. When we were having sex, I heard a cardinal gaffe into the lock. I look up to find a feline lasting successful the doorway. He looks astatine maine and runs retired the door. So, I started to get dressed portion she was explaining that we weren't exclusive. Then I perceive steps connected the porch. I assumed it was the feline returning with a limb from a car, but no, it was ANOTHER DUDE!"

—busdrivermike

2. "They showed maine the displays of the AI creation 'they created' and were wayyy excessively arrogant of. They adjacent had them displayed each implicit their house."

—Anonymous

3. "I was attending a league and met a pistillate betwixt meetings. She invited maine to her edifice room. I wanted to speech a spot earlier getting active. She instantly stripped bare and sat connected her knees connected the bed, legs spread. She said, 'Stop talking. I'm ready. Can't you smell?' I excused myself and left."

—Anonymous

4. "She showed up late, wearing a shot chapeau that said hurtin’ for a squirtin' written connected the front."

—Anonymous

5. "I picked up a miss for a archetypal date, and she was holding 3 beers that were inactive successful the integrative rings. She conscionable finished the 4th arsenic she stepped into the car. Once she sat down, she said we should some person a brew connected the mode to the restaurant. I said I wouldn't portion and drive. She was mildly miffed. At dinner, she told soiled jokes that were old, stale, and astatine a precocious schoolhouse level. I couldn’t hold to instrumentality her backmost home! She asked maine to travel successful to decorativeness the beers astatine her place. I hurriedly declined!"

—Anonymous

6. "Out of nowhere, they started talking astir however their gramps livestreamed his decease during the pandemic."

—Anonymous

7. "I discovered she brought a question mug of reddish vino erstwhile she spilled immoderate astatine our booth, and my pants got wet."

—Anonymous

8. "On our archetypal date, she asked maine however large it got erstwhile it was hard."

—Anonymous

9. "She stubbed retired her cigaret successful her leftover tiramisu we were sharing."

—Anonymous

10. "Two things were turn-offs for me: the archetypal was not being acceptable to spell connected a archetypal date; the 2nd was being invited into her apartment, which was a literal pig pen. She opened the doorway to her apartment, and you couldn't adjacent spot the floor. She adjacent had soiled undergarments successful the room descend — 'soaking.' She was beautiful, I indispensable say. But I was grossed out. I pretended to get an important telephone and left. I ne'er called her again!"

—Anonymous

11. "I met a precise charismatic pistillate astatine my cousin’s wedding. We deed it disconnected and agreed connected a day a week later. While connected our date, she asked maine if I was bisexual oregon bi-curious, due to the fact that her 'gaydar' was connected precocious alert with me. I told her I americium consecutive but wasn’t astatine each homophobic. And that I was adjacent comfy with my ain masculinity, that if a cheery antheral deed connected me, I would instrumentality it arsenic a compliment. All passim the evening, she wouldn’t fto it go. She adjacent told maine she had caught maine stealing a glimpse astatine a handsome guy."

—Anonymous

12. "Being asked astir my wage connected a archetypal day was ever a immense reddish flag. It happened much than a fewer times."

—Sasha Kyääti

13. "She precocious became a portion of my person group, and she was nice. She called maine 1 nighttime (this was the pre-cellphone days) and asked if I wanted to spell to a haunted location with her and immoderate of our communal friends. I asked if it was a radical happening oregon a day thing. She said it was definitely a date. I picked her up, and she seemed wholly disinterested successful me. We got to the haunted location and met up with our friends. We were waiting successful line, and outta obscurity she sticks her lingua down my throat! That’s erstwhile I noticed immoderate random feline glaring astatine us. Finally, idiosyncratic clued maine successful that SHE invited this dude to travel too. He said, 'OK, you proved your point!' She past walked implicit and made retired with him, past near successful his car. Apparently, I was conscionable utilized by her to get backmost astatine her boyfriend, who cheated connected her. She was instantly kicked retired of the person group."

—Anonymous

14. "Our friends acceptable america up. I paid for an highly pricey summons to spot a celebrated comedian who was her favourite. I took her retired for meal before, and she kept texting idiosyncratic during it. I ignored it, reasoning it was our person checking successful connected her. But then, successful the mediate of the comedian's set, she took a call! It was her ex. She stepped extracurricular for the past portion of the amusement (over 30 minutes). I met her outside, past promptly took her consecutive home. There was nary 2nd date."

—prokitten497

15. "She laid retired a enactment of cocaine connected the edifice table, enactment up the paper truthful nary 1 could spot it! Then expected maine to instrumentality a sniff!! Nope!"

—Anonymous

16. "We went to the movies, and they talked precise loudly done the full thing. When I asked them to little their voice, they still, with a large voice, said, 'Did you conscionable shush me?' I yelled back, 'Yes, due to the fact that you’re large and being rude to maine and the different patrons.' I got up then, and arsenic I walked out, it was to clapping."

—Anonymous

17. "I went connected a treble day to spot a movie. My day past took retired baccy to chew, and during the movie, they SPIT TOBACCO ACROSS MY LAP ONTO THE THEATER FLOOR. I was adjacent parts shocked, insulted, and disgusted."

—Anonymous

18. "We made plans to person a luncheon date. When we got there, she said she didn't privation to bid thing due to the fact that she didn't person immoderate money. I offered to pay, but she said no, truthful she conscionable sat determination and watched maine eat. It was weird."

—Anonymous

19. "When they expect men to wage for them, particularly now, successful an epoch of expected feminism."

—messytrash401

20. "Our archetypal day started retired shy and standoffish. I was acceptable to constitute it disconnected arsenic a swing-and-miss, but the speech abruptly warmed up and she seemed spontaneously charming. She showed up to our 2nd day neither shy nor charming, but inactive precocious from a cocktail of enactment drugs from the nighttime before. Again, I was acceptable to propulsion successful the towel, but by the travel home, she had travel sufficiently backmost to world to salvage portion of the night, and (recalling my ain stock of party-related mistakes), I gave her a mulligan. Three months of mulligans later, I yet realized that I had ne'er really seen her sober — including, per her admission, connected our archetypal date."

—Anonymous

21. "She farted a batch during our date."

—Anonymous

22. "We were having dinner, and she had told maine she had 2 young sons up of time. This was fine, I person kids too. But past she said that the sons unrecorded successful different country. When I asked why, she said that the sons wanted to beryllium successful their location country, truthful they unrecorded with their dad. I asked wherefore she didn't unrecorded adjacent to her sons, and she said, 'Cause I similar it present more.' Nope. I privation idiosyncratic who values surviving adjacent their young children."

—Anonymous

23. "She kept her compartment telephone beside her sheet astatine meal and checked it each 30 seconds. I asked her to enactment it away, but she told maine she was expecting a telephone from her mother. On the 2nd date, I warned her that if the telephone were connected the table, I would leave. I don't cognize if she was investigating maine oregon what, but she brought the telephone out! I got up, said goodbye, and paid my stock of the nutrient bill. My parents didn't person compartment phones, and they survived!"

—lovelymug3762

24. "I went connected a day with this pistillate I'd been talking to for months....pretty blistery and heavy. We got backmost to the edifice wherever we were staying for business, and started doing the deed. Right successful the middle, she started talking astir her ex. I removed myself from the 'situation,' hopped successful the shower, and slept connected the couch. She could person discussed her ex implicit Red Lobster, not during sex."

—thesettledpirate

25. "They said aft a lovely, never-ending date, 'Mind if I travel in? I request to instrumentality a dump.' Nope, and I asked them to leave."

—Anonymous

26. "She slept with maine connected the archetypal date. Not that I didn't bask and admit it, but erstwhile that veil has been lifted, it's hard to privation to get to cognize a idiosyncratic immoderate further."

—Anonymous

27. "I'm a librarian, and they didn't halt talking astir however they wouldn't work thing unless it made them money."

—Anonymous

28. "When I was younger, a miss said she loved maine connected the archetypal date. No 2nd date. I’m a feline who gets frightened erstwhile I perceive those words excessively soon."

—Anonymous

29. "They didn’t ever consciousness the request to tip."

—Anonymous

30. "I erstwhile went connected a day with a miss who talked non-stop astir her joined champion person and his kids. She didn't inquire maine immoderate questions, oregon connection accusation astir herself. It was each astir her champion friend's kids. She ended the day talking astir erstwhile she would person kids, and I realized she was buying for a babe daddy, not a date."

—Anonymous

31. "When I picked her up, she intelligibly hadn't showered."

—Anonymous

32. "I erstwhile went to a edifice with a archetypal date, and she talked the full time, complaining astir her ex and besides his mom, strangely. She spoke loudly and was not shy astir swearing. There was a household with children close adjacent to us. I was mortified."

—Anonymous

33. "She utilized truly aged illustration pictures. I adjacent wondered if they were ever her pictures astatine all."

—Anonymous

34. And finally: "I erstwhile dated this gorgeous woman. I was caller to municipality and had a caller job, truthful I saved up to instrumentality her to a truly bully restaurant. I picked her up, and successful the fewer minutes it took to get to the restaurant, she criticized my driving, my assemblage status, and my beingness decisions implicit the past fewer years. There was nary 2nd date."

—Anonymous

So, archer maine — what are your biggest dating reddish flags? Personally, I’ve ever steered wide of men who speech severely astir their moms. What’s the 1 happening that makes you instantly think, “Yep, nary 2nd date”? Spill it successful the comments oregon driblet it successful the anonymous signifier below:

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Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity. 

Also, if you oregon idiosyncratic you cognize is struggling with substance abuse, you tin telephone SAMHSA’s National Helpline astatine 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find much resources here.