The 'Overlooked' Social Anxiety Symptom That Appears When You Say Someone's Name

When you deliberation astir societal anxiety, you mightiness imagine common symptoms like sweating, avoiding radical conversations, and trembling.

But a 2025 paper called different lesser known motion of societal anxiousness – dubbed alexinomia – “important” and “overlooked”. 

Alexinomia, which seems to person been coined successful 2023 successful a Frontiers study, may also beryllium linked to autism and intelligence wellness conditions, though it is not an unwellness oregon diagnosis successful and of itself. Research from 2024 suggests it whitethorn beryllium much “widespread” than galore of america realise. 

Here, we spoke to BACP-certified therapists Kamalyn Kaur and Bhavna Raithatha about what the word means, who it mightiness affect, and what to bash if you deliberation you person it.

What is alexinomia?

“Alexinomia is the fearfulness of speaking someone’s name,” Raithatha told us. 

Kaur described it arsenic “when idiosyncratic experiences utmost discomfort, difficulty, oregon adjacent anxiousness erstwhile utilizing a person’s sanction successful conversation, adjacent erstwhile they cognize the person’s sanction and the idiosyncratic truly well”.

An example, Kaur added, mightiness beryllium that idiosyncratic is capable to inquire their person Hannah, “Can you delight walk maine the salt?”, but would find it harder to accidental “Hannah, tin you delight walk maine the salt?”. 

“Using the person’s sanction tin trigger feelings of vulnerability, self-consciousness, oregon affectional exposure,” Kaur added.

Mentioning someone’s sanction straight mightiness consciousness excessively intimate oregon embarrassing: “Often the trouble is little astir the sanction itself and much astir what the sanction represents emotionally,” Kaur continued.

“For immoderate radical saying the sanction retired large feels similar abruptly acknowledging closeness successful a narration e.g. ‘If I accidental your name, I’m stepping into closeness I don’t afloat harmless successful yet’.”

She said that “avoidants oregon anxious-avoidants” may find that “saying someone’s sanction brings up a fearfulness of dependency oregon attachment, truthful not utilizing the person’s sanction becomes a subtle mode of staying emotionally regulated and feeling successful control”.

Who mightiness get alexinomia?

According to Kaur, the information whitethorn beryllium much apt among radical who experience: 

Social anxiety

Shyness oregon self-consciousness

Fear of being judged oregon noticed

Insecure attachment patterns

Difficulty with affectional intimacy oregon vulnerability

A past of feeling emotionally unsafe oregon unstable successful relationships. 

Then, Raithatha continued, there’s civilization to consider. “Historically and culturally, galore radical are raised to code others arsenic uncle oregon auntie, Mrs oregon Mr truthful and so. To past beryllium expected (as I was) to code radical not lone by their names, but elders by their archetypal sanction was incredibly anxiousness provoking. I inactive code radical with their titles retired of respect,” she told us. 

Meanwhile, others whitethorn beryllium disquieted astir saying someone’s sanction wrong, could person travel from a inheritance which progressive a batch of bullying, and/or person been silenced often arsenic a kid – each of which the therapist said whitethorn summation your likelihood of processing alexinomia. 

What should I bash if I person alexinomia?

“Like galore anxiousness related behaviours, avoidance tends to fortify the fearfulness truthful it’s champion to gradually exposure yourself to saying the sanction alternatively than debar it altogether,” Kaur shared. 

Some archetypal steps whitethorn see saying the person’s sanction erstwhile you are alone, utilizing it successful substance messages earlier really saying it, practising abbreviated greetings (e.g., ‘Hi Hannah’, ‘Nice to spot you, Hannah,’” and gradually utilizing people’s names successful existent conversations.

Small, repeated challenges tin assistance implicit time, she advised. 

Additionally, Alexinomia appears intimately linked to societal anxiety, truthful experts suggest moving connected this could besides assistance with the former.

“Approaches specified arsenic cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), tense strategy regulation, somatic approaches, and self-compassion practices tin help,” said Kaur.

The therapist besides thinks becoming self-aware of, and staying contiguous during, the discomfort tin help. Ask yourself questions like: 

What bash I interest volition hap if I accidental their name?

Does it consciousness excessively intimate?

Am I disquieted astir sounding awkward?

Do I interest astir drafting attraction to myself?

Raithatha ended that, ultimately, the important happening is to person tried: “You should beryllium arrogant for trying, the much you bash it, the easier it volition feel.”