Teachers Are Revealing The Hard Truths Parents Need To Hear, And What They Said Might Be Controversial

We asked teachers of the BuzzFeed Community to capable retired this questionnaire astir their experiences and observations. In the questionnaire, we asked them what hard truths parents request to perceive today. Here's what they had to say:

1. "Your kid is not an big and shouldn’t beryllium treated similar one. YOU are their astir important teacher. Quit giving in."

—Anonymous, Illinois, High School

2. "Parents request to perceive that their kid behaves otherwise with their peers than astatine home. I deliberation parents would beryllium amazed if they witnessed that behaviour and attitudes."

—Rebekah, 57, New Jersey, Grades 10-12

3. "School is not a daycare. Do not nonstop your kid to schoolhouse if they are sick. If 1 kid gets sick, astatine slightest 4 others volition get sick, including me. In my experience, students bash not similar substitute teachers due to the fact that it is not routine. We volition cognize if you gave your kid Tylenol earlier they went to school. By 10 o’clock, your child’s fever volition travel back, and you’re getting a telephone to prime them up anyway."

—Anonymous, 52, Chicago, Grade 4

4. "Your kids are not your property, and they person a close to marque choices. They are thinking, feeling, quality beings and not conscionable an hold of you. We person a inclination to elevate parents successful discourse, suggesting that the infinitesimal they person a child, their motivation compass conscionable magically snaps to a magnetic north. In actuality, parents are conscionable arsenic fallible arsenic each different quality connected earth. If you can’t negociate to respect your children arsenic autonomous individuals, frankly you don’t merit them."

—C, 42, Indiana, High School

5. "Downgrade the telephone they person now. If they privation better, person them gain it. Let them recognize that the telephone is yours, not theirs, unless they wage for it."

—Clare Russell, 62, Arizona, Grades 7-8

6. "Get your kid retired of furniture and nonstop them to school! When I telephone location to enactment attendance rates and find retired steadfast kids are successful furniture astatine luncheon time, you’re not parenting!"

—Anonymous, 41, Grades 7-12

7. "We each wounded our parents astatine immoderate constituent successful our childhood, oregon astatine slightest resented the rules. Don’t beryllium acrophobic that your children oregon teens volition beryllium aggravated with you. The emotion of a genitor ever overcomes this resentment and sullenness that each kids experience."

—L Cotton, 66, California, Grades 9-10

8. "Some of you are missing retired connected immoderate of the joys of parenting and putting little important things archetypal (i.e., making a batch of money, fancy vacations, caller car, large house, and truthful on)."

—Carol, 75, Michigan, Grades 5-6

9. "Teens volition prevarication to debar getting successful occupation oregon to debar disappointing their parents. Think astir that the adjacent clip your kid makes up a communicative that doesn’t align with what the teacher said. If you deliberation your teen is not susceptible of lying to you, you should deliberation again."

—Anonymous, 50, North Carolina, High School

10. "Please instrumentality the TVs and gaming consoles retired of your children's rooms arsenic we instrumentality to school. They're not going to slumber erstwhile they accidental they are. Promise."

—MJK, 44, Washington, Grade 10

11. "You request to exemplary what you privation your kid to do. I work a survey that parents don’t work with their kids arsenic overmuch anymore due to the fact that they deliberation it’s ‘boring’. How asinine! Who cares if you deliberation it’s boring? It’s what’s champion for your child. You should bash things you don’t privation to bash for your kids due to the fact that your kid benefits successful the agelong run."

—Mrs. V, 34, Virginia, Grades K-5

12. "Parents are bending implicit backwards to support their children from feeling disappointed. Children request to larn however to header with these feelings and denying them the accidental to does them nary favors. It’s good to suffer the crippled and consciousness crummy afterwards!"

—Anne, 41, Los Angeles, California, Grades K-5

13. "You are your child’s biggest problem. You volition not and cannot beryllium determination to prevention them from the existent world. You cannot prime up a telephone and shriek astatine their leader due to the fact that your kid showed up precocious oregon doesn’t person the skills indispensable for the job. You volition beryllium supporting your kid the remainder of your beingness due to the fact that you request to beryllium capable to work efficaciously to person a job. You volition beryllium supporting your kid the remainder of your beingness due to the fact that they bash not cognize however to occupation lick oregon critically deliberation for themselves. You volition beryllium supporting your kid the remainder of your beingness due to the fact that your kid ne'er learned however to enactment with others, due to the fact that it was ever idiosyncratic else’s fault. You volition beryllium supporting your kid the remainder of your life, and it volition beryllium your fault."

—llgc, 26, St. Louis, Missouri, Grade 6

14. "Your occupation is to beryllium a parent, not a friend. 'But I can't instrumentality distant his games until homework is done. He'll beryllium huffy astatine me!' That was an existent punctuation from a genitor whose kid refused to implicit immoderate work."

—Fred, 55, Oregon, Grades K-5

15. "Your kid is not ever being victimized. A batch of times your kid instigated the issues I'm calling about. Your kid isn't perfect, and that's not due to the fact that you're failing arsenic a parent. You conscionable request to beryllium consenting to person boundaries and enactment with your teachers for them to turn up arsenic a bully person."

—Robinette, 25, Virginia, Grades 1-4

16. "If 1 oregon much (especially more) teachers are taking clip to email home, the teachers are not the problem…your kid is. I hatred sending emails location informing parents however their kid is behaving poorly successful my class. I debar it if I can."

—KF, 33, Northshore, Massachusetts, Grade 8

17. "You are their archetypal teacher. It is your occupation to rise them to beryllium functional adults. It’s your occupation to modulate your emotions portion teaching them however to modulate their emotions."

—Anonymous, 34, Iowa, Grades K-5

18. "Your elementary-aged children don’t request smartphones (if they request a phone, get them a basal flip phone). Stop utilizing screens arsenic babysitters. Let your kids beryllium bored; it builds their creativity and problem-solving skills. Tell them 'no.' Follow done with consequences."

—Anonymous, 34, Iowa, Grades K-5

19. "Punishment is okay. Kids request rules and consequences for erstwhile those rules are broken. It’s not making you a atrocious parent; it’s teaching your kid that the connection 'no' is good and they volition perceive it."

—Anonymous, 30, NYC, Grades 6-8

20. "What you provender them, similar integrated foods and steadfast snacks, is arsenic arsenic important arsenic what they ticker and read. Good successful quality inside, bully comes retired successful behaviour and growth. Bad contented enactment inside, antagonistic behaviour displayed outside."

—Mrs.Beverly, Grades K-4 

21. "If you're not responding to oregon adjacent checking emails from the schoolhouse oregon teachers, you're going to find retired astir issues astatine the 11th hour, and you'll person nary 1 to blasted but yourself. Schools and teachers are not the lone entities that should beryllium moving with kids toward success. Be an progressive subordinate of your kid's education, oregon you person nary close to kick astir thing school-related."

—Gretchen, 39, Illinois, High School 

22. "Learning is simply a priority. Sure, the lines are shorter astatine Disneyland successful October, but missing 15 days of a trimester is messed up. Make your kid enactment harder than you do."

—Bryan Dibble, 56, Washington, High School

23. "If a teacher suggests getting your kid tested for a learning disability, bash it! It’s not conscionable a label…it’s giving them tools to assistance them succeed."

—Anonymous, 30, NYC, Grades 6-8

24. "You person to exemplary the behaviors you expect from your child. Resorting to carnal subject oregon yelling leads to maladjusted kids who deliberation that unit and disrespect are due ways of dealing with conflict."

—Mrs A, 44, San Bernardino, California, Grades K-3

25. "Put your damn phones down. Take your kids' phones distant and halt utilizing them arsenic a mode to support them retired of your hair. Talk to your kids, explicate things, walk clip with them, springiness them rules and consequences. It's good if you don't person each the answers; find retired together. My grandparents could hardly work and write, and my dada became a doctor."

—Michele, 66, Retired

26. "If a teacher tells you that your kid is utilizing AI to implicit their assignments, consciousness escaped to inquire questions, but delight judge that they are not conscionable trying to 'catch' your kid to punish them, but due to the fact that your kid's teacher wants your pupil to LEARN and beryllium capable to usage their BRAIN alternatively of taking shortcuts for everything and learning nary existent skills but for transcript and pasting."

—Anonymous, 40, Houston, Texas, High School

27. "Parents request to recognize that they are increasing adults and children. They request to larn however to past successful the existent world, and it has to beryllium taught from erstwhile they are young."

—Charmaine, 56, Canada, Grades 4-7

28. And finally, "School and acquisition present is NOTHING similar it was erstwhile you were successful school. More standards, little time. More need, little resources. Teacher autonomy is GONE. Everything is scripted. Check your authorities standards and past territory curriculum."

—CC, 52, Missouri, Kindergarten 

Submissions person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity. 

If you're a teacher, usage the signifier beneath to archer america astir the realities and struggles of teaching today. You tin reply arsenic galore oregon arsenic fewer questions arsenic you'd like.