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Note: This station contains mentions of kid maltreatment and gestation loss.
Even bully parents sometimes marque hurtful comments that tin instrumentality with their kids for a agelong time. But erstwhile it comes to parents who grounds narcissistic behaviors, these comments tin beryllium incredibly damaging. Recently on Reddit, radical who were raised by narcissists shared the wildest things their parents person said to them, and it's conscionable unfathomable. Here's what radical shared:
Comments person been edited for magnitude and clarity.
1. "My dada called maine a 'whore' (direct quote) erstwhile I was 12 for wearing a sports bra with an unfastened flannel with jeans, portion astatine home. It was '94, truthful it was the trend. Basically, starting puberty made maine inappropriate. Recently, my 11-year-old came retired of her country successful a akin outfit, the different day, arsenic she wears 1 for pajamas astir the house, truthful did my different daughter, without agelong sleeves implicit it, and each I spot is girls being comfy astatine home. Literal children conscionable being comfy successful their ain tegument and bodies. It’s truthful weird my dada took discourtesy to maine conscionable existing and being comfortable, portion astatine location without company."
2. "When I was 19, my emotionally immature parent said, 'You know, if we were married, we would beryllium headed for divorcement court.' It’s been, like, 17 years, and I’m inactive truthful fucking dumbfounded and disturbed by that comment."
3. "My dada was single, and dating wasn’t going well, I guess. He lamented to a array afloat of his ain meal guests that young women similar maine aren’t funny successful men similar him; they’re funny successful men similar (insert my boyfriend’s name). My bf was sitting close adjacent to me. It made my soma crawl, but it’s not the archetypal clip helium said crap similar that. I ever felt his feelings toward maine were highly abnormal, to accidental the least. I wasn’t amazed helium felt that way; I was conscionable mortified helium said it successful beforehand of truthful galore people, immoderate of them strangers to me. Other radical astatine the array were like, 'Surely you don’t recognize however that sounds,' and Dad doubled down. He knows however it sounds. I was astir 30 years aged erstwhile this happened."
4. "My parent would ever say, 'I've known since I was young that my kids wouldn't unrecorded long, particularly my daughter. God told maine she wouldn't marque it past 16,' and she would look astatine maine erstwhile she would accidental it with this excited, dormant stare. I was truthful uncomfortable. I was besides terrified to crook 16. I thought she was going to termination me."
5. "When I was astir 5, my dada told maine that it was his occupation arsenic my begetter to interruption my spirit. When I was astir 7, I got placed successful a highly precocious world programme astatine school, which was precise competitive. My dada was profoundly bothered to larn that his girl was truthful intelligent. He went connected a rant astatine the meal array astir what a discarded of wealth it would beryllium for him to nonstop maine to college, 'just truthful [my] hubby could person intelligent conversation.'"
6. "Hearing 'to beryllium honest, I can't hug you present that you person [gestures astatine boobs]' from my dada is truly up determination for me."
7. "She would instrumentality my telephone and flirt with a lad I dated, pretending to beryllium me."
8. "My ma told maine successful sixth people that nary antheral would ever privation to wed maine if I ne'er showed disconnected my boobs. I was 12 and would proceed to deterioration baggy shirts oregon jackets to fell my thorax until I was retired of precocious schoolhouse and moved into my dorm astatine college."
9. "I was large with my archetypal and lone kid astatine property 38. Had a large career, debt-free successful my ain home, a stupendous partner, and was unchangeable AF. At 7 months pregnant, my ma asked maine if I'd springiness her ineligible guardianship of our child. I laughed truthful hard erstwhile she asked, but it was not a joke. She was dormant serious. She kept insisting she'd beryllium a amended genitor than I could and beryllium capable to springiness our girl a amended beingness than we could. 'You could support her for arsenic agelong arsenic you can, but that mode it's legal... Just successful case.'"
"I was speechless. Like legit, hung up connected her, speechless.
I knew I had to person caller boundaries successful spot origin of the baby, but I didn't recognize I had to enactment up the proverbial walls months earlier the babe adjacent arrived.
In the precise fewer IRL visits we've had since, I've caught her coaching my babe to telephone her 'Mama.' Nipped that successful the bud by explaining that the adjacent clip I caught her coaching my kid, she would person each entree and connection revoked. Presents sent backmost unopened. Blocked telephone calls. Missed holidays and birthdays.
I tin grip my mom's spirit of crazy, but I garbage to let my kid to beryllium a pawn successful her ego games."
10. "When my member died, my dada said my member didn't merit a ceremonial due to the fact that my member was an addict."
11. "We were astatine my paternal grandmother's funeral. Should enactment my parent HATED my dad's family...and the feeling was decidedly mutual. Anyway, we're astatine a literal funeral. I was lasting with my parent erstwhile she abruptly got that mean sneer that she got erstwhile she was astir to accidental thing horrible, and leaned implicit to archer me, 'You're conscionable similar a [father's past name]. Look astatine each of them. Ugly with level asses, conscionable similar you!'"
"Then she was laughing and gave maine a look similar she expected maine to articulation in, portion I just...stared astatine her successful horror.
What the fuck was that? At a funeral? I don't adjacent person a level ass?????
I was successful my precocious 20s erstwhile this happened, which someway made it weirder."
12. "I got large aft 5 years of trying to conceive, astatine the commencement of the pandemic, truthful I was terrified of losing my child. My ma said, 'No large deal, I already person a crippled successful the graveyard you tin usage to hide it. See, I ever deliberation ahead.' Thankfully, it was a bully pregnancy, and I present person a steadfast (alive!) 4-year-old daughter."
"My ma had a miscarriage earlier I was a twelvemonth old, and ever blamed maine for it (I near her successful a atrocious state, she had to instrumentality attraction of maine and couldn’t instrumentality attraction of her large self, etc.). So arsenic soon arsenic I was learning to talk, she would marque maine apologize to God successful my nightly prayers for sidesplitting my babe brother, since I had already been baptized erstwhile it happened, and I had to transportation that misdeed until I could atone for it successful my archetypal communion."
13. "I was 11 and forgot to instrumentality retired the trash. My ma decided to archer maine I was the crushed for her archetypal divorce. My older member was the aureate child; I was the destructor. After she joined again and had different child, she said, 'You are the portion of crap that volition ne'er let maine to fto spell of my archetypal marriage.'"
14. "Starting astir 8–9 years old, my dada started saying, 'you’re a lesbian,' 'you look similar a lesbian,' 'you similar girls,' etc. This was the precocious '90s, and I looked similar a basal miss then. He’d accidental this to maine sometimes erstwhile I had friends walk the night."
"I ever got truthful overmuch anxiousness astir however he’d embarrass maine successful beforehand of them oregon impeach maine of liking my friends successful a romanticist way. I conscionable stopped inviting them over.
It was confusing. As I got a spot older, I honestly thought I indispensable beryllium a lesbian, and my crushes connected boys were wrong. It was fucked up."
15. "My batshit brainsick stepmom told my aunt (the sister that was closest to my dad, and the lone subordinate of my dad’s household that would tolerate her) that arsenic a teenager, I was 'overly flirtatious' with my dada due to the fact that I secretly wanted to slumber with him. Luckily, I lone recovered retired she felt this mode agelong aft my stepmother had died. The confrontation would person been beyond disfigured had I known, but I had been estranged from her and my dada for astir 7 years earlier she died. Needless to say, I don’t miss that witch."
16. "My ma would accidental things to marque maine outcry conscionable truthful she could comfortableness me. For example, erstwhile I was astir 11, I had hairsbreadth maturation connected my look and shaved it. She told maine that I was going to turn a heavy beard due to the fact that I shaved my face. I believed her and started crying. She hugged maine and tried to clasp maine successful her arms similar I was a baby. It was intentional."
17. "My narc parent announced to my extended household that I got my play astatine property 12. Like, astatine Thanksgiving dinner."
18. "My dada has accidentally sent maine and my sister porn links MULTIPLE TIMES (now I'm really questioning if it's an accident...), and helium would blasted it connected random radical utilizing his computer. The kicker was helium erstwhile blamed it connected my 85-year-old GRANDMOTHER."
19. "I was sitting astatine the room array speechmaking (around 11–14), and she was boiling thing successful a large cookware connected the stove. Out of the blue, she said that the Bible says successful the extremity times, determination volition beryllium a famine, and women volition boil their babies and devour them. It benignant of freaked maine retired due to the fact that she was boiling something, and WHY would she archer maine that? I knew someway that she was implying she had implicit power implicit my life, whether I lived oregon died, and that she thinks God approves of that."
20. "Mom wanted maine to enactment her sanction connected my slope relationship nether the pretense that it was for information reasons. When I refused, she kept trying to speech maine into it and yet exploded, 'If thing happens to you, I can't entree your wealth to bash thing astir it!' She's successful her 70s, I'm successful my precocious 30s. Why this is moving done her caput weirded maine retired and told maine to run."
21. "My ma said she would bargain maine a gestation trial 'cause determination was nary mode I was that fat. I was 26 years aged and a size medium."
22. "Creepiest, my ma told maine she envied my boobs. Meanest, erstwhile I was, like, 14/15, she spent Christmas Eve plastered. On Christmas Day, she was sober, and we went to my grandparents'. She told maine arsenic we were walking up to their house, 'I privation I ne'er had you; you and your member ruined my life.'"
23. And finally, "Don't get joined and enactment with maine forever."
If you are acrophobic that a kid is experiencing oregon whitethorn beryllium successful information of abuse, you tin telephone oregon substance the National Child Abuse Hotline astatine 1-800-422-4453 (4.A.CHILD); work tin beryllium provided successful implicit 140 languages.
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