People Are Sharing The Most Absurd Things Someone Has Said To Them After Sex — And For Real, I'd Go Celibate If I Heard Any Of These

As an annoyingly romanticist person, you'd deliberation I'd beryllium each gushy talking astir the archetypal clip with idiosyncratic new. But the information is, I'll beryllium the archetypal to admit that it's usually the least romanticist happening ever. It's awkward, uncomfortable, and 1 wildly uncalled-for remark tin permission you spiralling for days...or years.

Clearly, this is thing radical cognize each excessively well. Cause erstwhile I asked the BuzzFeed Community successful a previous post, "What's the wildest happening idiosyncratic has said to you aft hooking up?" I was floored by conscionable however galore disastrous moments rolled in. It's bully to cognize we're not alone, but besides terrifying that radical are retired present dropping immoderate of these lines. Buckle up and instrumentality a look:

1. "He said, 'I didn't propulsion up due to the fact that I went down connected you. I conscionable drank excessively much.' Thanks?"

—Anonymous

2. "After immoderate extended foreplay, helium said, 'Are we going to bash more? Or should I telephone my balls Papa Smurf tonight?' It grossed maine retired truthful overmuch that I walked retired and ghosted him."

—Anonymous

3. "The archetypal clip we had hooked up, helium shouted and grunted to an excessive level erstwhile helium orgasmed. I similar it erstwhile a feline is enthusiastic, but this was adjacent level and wholly unnecessary. He sounded similar a howling wolf, but angrier."

—ChadsSugarBaby

4. "I blurted out, 'Your pen** is cute, similar a small fastener mushroom.' That was a compliment successful my head. He ended up marrying me, truthful it's astir apt good now."

—Anonymous

5. "I was 18. A fewer hours aft sleeping unneurotic for the archetypal time, my fellow broke up with maine due to the fact that helium said women who waited truthful agelong to enactment retired were usually the benignant who wanted to get joined and person kids. Being 18, I decidedly didnt wanna wed him oregon person his kids. I recovered retired a week aboriginal that helium near the state connected a spiritual journey."

—Anonymous

6. "After we hooked up, helium asked if I was a virgin. When I said that I was, helium said, 'That explains a lot.'"

—Anonymous

7. "Every clip my ex-fiancée would finish, helium would say, 'Are you ready? Here it comes…BOOM BOOM BOOM.'"

—Anonymous

8. "The greeting aft a one-night stand, helium said, "Oh sh**, I'm precocious for brunch with my mom.' He past asked if I wanted to join."

—Anonymous

9. "I dated a feline who would hum ace agelong and large erstwhile helium finished."

—PaulaDeeeeen

10. "She said she was going to the formation with friends the adjacent day, and asked if I'd assistance her wax her bikini line. We had been connected 2 dates, and just slept unneurotic for the archetypal time."

—Anonymous

11. "It conscionable got weird aft helium tried for mode excessively agelong to enactment his balls... successful me. I couldn't spot him aft that."

—Anonymous

12. "We were some 17, and I took his virginity. He past cried and explained the assorted levels of misdeed we committed, according to the Catholic Church. It was not worthy it astatine all. Several years later, we met again. He profusely apologized for each the drama. We did it again. Again, it was not worthy it astatine all."

—Anonymous

13. "I had conscionable precocious mislaid my virginity, truthful I didn’t person overmuch acquisition erstwhile I met a caller guy. He was mode much experienced than I, and I hoped I was 'good enough' for him. Then...we started doing it. He whispered, 'Are you cleanable and caller for me?' and came successful nether a minute. He blamed it connected me due to the fact that I was 'too bully astatine it.' Bro, I inactive cringe to my precise bones each clip I deliberation of you."

—Anonymous

14. "Right earlier helium came, helium said, 'Let maine amusement you a magic trick,' and past pointed astatine it arsenic helium ejaculated."

—Anonymous

15. "He told maine helium was a registered enactment offender close after. I was horrified."

—Anonymous

16. "I was 37, and a azygous dad. We met implicit the apps during lockdown. It was the archetypal clip we hooked up. She arrived drunk since she was nervous. We skipped meal arsenic she didn't privation to wait. During it, she asked if I wanted to person different kid and not to interest astir money. She assured me, 'I person 2 bitcoins if we ever request money.' That was rather the temper killer. But I thought I’d effort and decorativeness anyway, during which she scratched my back, making an X-shaped coiled connected my back. She past spot my precocious articulator and past asked maine to bash down connected her portion humor dripped from my wound wound. I stopped and ended it there. I inactive fto her enactment over, but I was up each nighttime fearing this alien successful my bed. We had a precise awkward meal the adjacent morning, wherever she apologized and blamed it connected having excessively small societal interaction during lockdown and connected the vessel of whiskey she had downed earlier our date."

—Anonymous

17. "He said, 'Thank deity you're experienced. I needed that.' Don't cognize what that meant, but I didn't similar it."

—Anonymous

18. "We were cuddling after, and helium said, 'Do you ever deliberation astir however you don’t really cognize maine each that well, and present I’m successful your house, and I could conscionable like…kill you?' I thought astir that each hookup going forward. That was 20 years ago."

—Anonymous

19. "He said, 'You're a bit**.' I didn't cognize if that was a bully happening oregon a atrocious thing."

—Anonymous

20. "She said, 'I loved that, I emotion you, and I don't privation to wounded you. So, I deliberation we should interruption up.' I past took a 6-hour bid thrust home. A fewer weeks later, she texted maine saying she had an STI. I didn't, truthful I conjecture she cheated."

—Anonymous

21. "I'm a 25-year-old female. I hooked up with an app feline successful his 30s. Afterwards, helium started crying. I asked what was wrong, and helium said, 'You were my archetypal hookup with a woman, and I hated it. I conjecture I'm not bi.'"

—Anonymous

22. "He deed his vape erstwhile I was going down connected him."

—Anonymous

23. And finally: "After I faked an orgasm, helium said, 'You're welcome.' 🙄"

—Anonymous

Now, it's your crook to archer maine the wildest happening idiosyncratic has said to you aft hooking up. You know, the moments wherever you deliberation to yourself, "What the f*** did you conscionable say? Did I perceive that right?" Tell maine successful the comments, oregon the secret, anonymous signifier below. I request a bully chuckle.

And for much sexy content, marque definite you travel BuzzFeed Canada connected TikTok and Instagram!

Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.