People Are Sharing The Moment They Learned The Man They Were Dating Was An Idiot, And I'm Getting Abs From Laughing This Hard

We've asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to stock the things their boyfriends oregon husbands said that revealed however dumb they were. And honestly, adjacent I'm much shocked than I thought I'd be. Here are the funniest ones:

1. "My hubby thought it was anserine that I was trying to thatch our canine to shingle hands due to the fact that she’s a miss and 'only boys shingle hands.' Who did I adjacent marry?"

—Anonymous, Female, 50, Nevada

2. "I knew a feline who thought a pistillate could conscionable instrumentality a ablution aft enactment to forestall pregnancy."

—silverzebra343

3. "My ex erstwhile casually asked maine portion we were watching a documentary if Canada was successful the United States. He was 47."

—Anonymous, 49, Female, East Coast

4. "An ex successful his 60s asked if Illinois was the metropolis & Chicago the state."

—Anonymous

5. "My hubby thinks you tin drawback crab from having sex."

—Anonymous, 72, Female, United States

6. "My then-boyfriend and I went connected our archetypal agelong travel up North to Portland from LA. We were having java successful Portland and watching the quality successful our room. He was taken aback that determination were antithetic radical and they were talking astir Portland issues. He thought the lone quality was LA news, and that the full satellite watched it. The look of daze connected his look erstwhile it clicked that each metropolis had its ain quality was similar his puppy died…He had to crook the TV off."

—Anonymous, 50, Female, California

7. "My ex-husband saw a Tampax commercialized connected TV and said, 'They’re advertizing those erstwhile they cognize women are having their periods.' I had to explicate that we were not each connected the aforesaid schedule."

—Anonymous, 74, Female, Oregon

8. "My precocious schoolhouse fellow thought that a fox was a benignant of dog, truthful erstwhile I wanted to acceptable a trap for the fox that was sidesplitting our chickens, helium asked if we could support it arsenic a pet!"

—Anonymous, 23, Female

9. "I dated a good-looking feline who worked astatine Home Depot. He said, 'You’ll ne'er conjecture what my nickname is there,' truthful I asked him however galore letters it had. Silence ensued portion helium tried to answer. Finally, I asked him what it was. 'Hollywood,' helium said, and I knew past it wouldn’t work."

—Anonymous, 65, Female, Florida

10. "My ex didn’t judge determination are 50 states. He said lone 48. Even aft I showed him a map. He said it's due to the fact that Alaska and Hawaii are not connected the representation with each the different states connected."

—Anonymous

11. "A feline I cognize thought noon was astatine 1 p.m."

—Anonymous

12. "I got an overdraft announcement from the bank. My ex-husband said it was nary problem, we could conscionable spell to the ATM and retreat wealth to deposit successful our checking account. I had to explicate that the ATM did not conscionable dole retired escaped money; each transaction deducted from our account. He was stunned."

—Anonymous, Female, 65

13. "I went connected a set-up day with a truly bully guy. We went to a concatenation restaurant, and aft looking astatine the paper and placing my bid with the waitress, she turned to my day and asked him what helium would like. He responded, 'I’ll person the Quickie.' She responded, 'I’m sorry, but we don’t person thing called Quickie.' He said, 'Yes, you do!' And points to it. She says, 'That’s Quiche.' I’ll ne'er hide the look she gave me."

—Anonymous, 70, Female, Florida

14. "When my ex-boyfriend and I were filling retired kid custody paperwork for the courts, I reminded him that helium needed to motion the paternity declaration that helium was the father, oregon bash a DNA trial if helium refused to motion it. He got truly aggravated and said I should besides person to bash a DNA trial to beryllium I was the mother."

—Anonymous, 64, Female, California

15. "In the airport, taking my (now ex) hubby connected a concern travel to California with me, helium couldn’t recognize wherefore I was mounting my ticker backmost 3 hours. When I explained clip zones to him, helium argued with and laughed astatine me. He refused to judge maine until helium saw the clocks erstwhile we landed."

—Anonymous, 70, Female, Florida

16. "My archetypal fellow thought that a woman's breasts inflated during enactment similar a man's penis does."

—Anonymous

17. "We were talking astir dinosaurs and helium was shocked to perceive they were real. Then helium proceeded to inquire maine if they truly breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the aforesaid thing."

—u/alixnkxng

18. "I dated a feline who erstwhile asked maine wherefore I 'use truthful overmuch toilet paper' each clip I travel implicit to his apartment. I asked him to elaborate connected what helium meant by that, and helium said determination was nary request to hitch each clip and wanted to cognize if I was conscionable wasteful. I had to pass him that women bash so person to hitch each azygous clip we pee."

—Anonymous

19. "An ex-boyfriend of mine, erstwhile we were together, seemed profoundly confused erstwhile I informed him that, no, a pistillate can’t get large from oral sex. He was 27 oregon 28 astatine the time."

—Anonymous

20. "I dated a feline successful my younger years who prided himself connected being a womanizer. One day, helium bragged that helium was a 'connosis' of women. Totally confused, the wheels successful my caput started spinning. Then I said to him, 'Do you mean a connoisseur?' He said, 'Oh yeah, that's it.'"

21. "I was successful the hospital, and my fellow astatine the clip sent maine a substance with a representation of an receptor of maize that helium conscionable peeled and asked if it had gone atrocious due to the fact that it was yellow. He thought it turned yellowish from cooking. He was 40!"

22. "He thought an ovum came retired erstwhile idiosyncratic finished their period. Like…a chickenhearted egg."

—AbsolutelyNotMothman

23. "I started my play and went into the store and reached implicit to drawback a container of ample tampons. He swatted my manus distant and said, 'You don't request that size.' I was stunned that helium was trying to archer maine what benignant of tampon I needed based connected size. The tampon size you get is based connected the magnitude of travel you have. I did wed him, and it was the biggest mistake of my life."

—Anonymous

24. "My ex-boyfriend was acrophobic astir having periodic nighttime sweats, truthful helium Googled it. He proceeded to archer maine helium has menopause."

—Anonymous

25. "My hubby and I were discussing our neighbor, who conscionable got diagnosed with prostate cancer, and my hubby said that helium should astir apt get his prostate examined. Then helium looked astatine maine and said, 'Hon, you should astir apt get your prostate checked too!' I told him that women don't person prostates."

—lunaamethyst8124

26. "My fellow astatine the clip thought that erstwhile radical accidental they bought a location with 'cash' that the buyers really brought successful bags of currency to wage for the property."

—Anonymous

27. "My ex successful assemblage thought each women could conscionable secrete bosom beverage connected demand. He asked to effort immoderate of mine, and was shocked erstwhile I informed him that, successful fact, I needed to person a babe first."

—Anonymous

28. "I took my fellow (who is cisgender) astatine the clip to the doc implicit immoderate tummy issues helium was having, and erstwhile the doc asked him what benignant of problems helium was having, helium precise earnestly answered, 'I’m not sure. All I cognize is I’m hurting truly bad, I deliberation it’s my ovaries.'"

—Anonymous

29. "He asked, 'Does it consciousness bully erstwhile you enactment a tampon in?' He was earnestly equating putting a tampon successful and penetrative sex."

—Anonymous

30. "I texted my ex, 'benign!', arsenic I had gotten the results from a tumor biopsy. His response? 'I thought that spot closed down a agelong clip ago?!' He thought I was texting astir the aged restaurant, Bennigan’s."

—Anonymous 

31. "One feline I was dating confidently argued, 'India is successful Africa.' We argued until I pulled up a map. We didn't talk again aft that."

—Anonymous

32. "My washing instrumentality went out, truthful I had to instrumentality my apparel and towels to a laundromat. I handed my fellow a handbasket of apparel and told him to spell up and enactment them successful immoderate washer. He said, 'Which 1 is the washer?'"

—Anonymous

33. "I said I was gonna marque whole-wheat bread, and helium asked if helium should bargain whole-wheat yeast."

—Anonymous

34. "I was successful a combat with my present ex-boyfriend, and astatine 1 constituent successful the argument, I said, 'Do you request maine to reiterate?!' to which helium replied, 'NO! I privation you to repetition yourself!!!' I past yelled back, 'What bash you deliberation REITERATE MEANS?!' I've ne'er heard specified a humiliating soundlessness successful my life. It was glorious."

—crankyoldlady

35. "My ex, erstwhile I told him I had a gathering with the Dean of Liberal Arts, said, 'Why isn’t determination a Dean of Conservative things, too? This is wherefore Republicans accidental they hatred colleges! Y’all could hole authorities truthful fast.'"

—Abcdg

36. "Ex-boyfriend didn’t judge geese alert southbound for the winter. He lived successful an country (in MN) that had a heated lake, and geese were astir successful the wintertime there. I tried to explain, but helium didn’t judge me."

—Anonymous

37. "He said he’d marque pancakes and past enactment the adust pulverization straight successful the blistery pan."

—u/Sims5Evr

38. "He thought state stations were placed implicit lipid wells, which is wherefore state stations are built adjacent 1 another. He thought that state stations closed due to the fact that the good underground had tally dry."

—Anonymous

39. "It was successful December of 1999 erstwhile my fellow astatine the clip thought we were going into the 20th century."

—Anonymous

40. "I erstwhile concisely dated a feline who thought sweetened java had zero calories due to the fact that 'the sweetener has dissolved, truthful it’s not there.'"

—millenialshrimp

41. "My ex thought that the Underground Railroad had to bash with trains and helium utilized to unrecorded successful the aforesaid country that Harriet Tubman was from."

—limbecke12

42. "My archetypal hubby and I went to my cousin’s location to ticker the archetypal satellite landing connected TV. On the mode home, helium asked maine if I thought we would ever spot a antheral onshore connected the sun."

—Anonymous

43. "I dated a feline who thought you lone took a commencement power pill close earlier you had sex. He didn't recognize that you had to instrumentality it astatine the aforesaid clip each time successful bid to really forestall pregnancy."

—Anonymous

44. "My ex-husband asked however the atom multiplies successful the cookware erstwhile it cooks. He thought it multiplied."

—Anonymous

45. "My hubby claimed helium could conscionable unfastened the model to 'dust' his office."

—bpurplebutterfly

46. "I knew a feline who thought determination were 2 suns. He went connected abrogation and said the prima was amended wherever helium was than astatine home."

—deadpanflower887

47. "My ex was with maine erstwhile I was buying for bras. He didn’t recognize wherefore I couldn’t conscionable prime 1 and go. I explained to him that I needed the close size, cupful size, and needed to effort it on. We’re not each the same. He inactive didn’t spot what the large woody was. I asked him if he’d similar a jock strap to beryllium excessively choky and compression his bits. He said nary and past helped maine look. He had 2 sisters."

—Anonymous

48. "I was watching TV with a person astir a large pistillate erstwhile the doc explained that she was having twins, 'a lad and a girl.' He turned to maine and said, 'That can't happen! How tin she person a lad and a girl?' He thought twins could lone beryllium either boys oregon girls."

—Anonymous, 58, Female, NYC

49. "He thought the operation was 'minus well' alternatively of 'might arsenic well' and CONTINUED to usage it adjacent aft being corrected and shown impervious that helium was incorrect."

—Anonymous, 35, Female, VA

50. "We were astatine a Chinese edifice and I ordered from the 'vegetarian' conception of the menu. My day said, 'You’re not vegetarian, lone vegetarians tin bid from that broadside of the menu.' I said, 'Anyone tin person veggies, not conscionable vegetarians.' When the waiter came to instrumentality my order, my day pointed his digit astatine maine and exclaimed, 'She’s not vegetarian!' The server conscionable stared astatine him and walked away. There was not a 2nd date."

—Anonymous, 49, female, San Francisco

51. "I was talking to him astir congenital defects successful a edifice and helium shushed me, looking embarrassed, saying, 'This isn't the spot to speech astir genitals!'"

—Anonymous, 52, Female, Kansas

52. "My husband's sister recovered retired she was large with her archetypal kid and my hubby asked if helium was going to beryllium an uncle oregon an aunt. I began to wonderment if my matrimony was doomed."

—Anonymous, Anonymous

53. "When my hubby and I were trying to person a baby, I told him, 'I got my period, but we’ll support trying.' He said, 'How bash you cognize you’re not pregnant? Did you instrumentality a test?'"

—Anonymous, 30, Female, Georgia

54. "My precocious schoolhouse fellow didn’t cognize that tampons are near inside. He thought you conscionable swirled them astir to cleanable up, past tossed them out."

—Anonymous

55. "I erstwhile told my hubby I was going to marque banana bread. He looked astatine maine wholly confused and asked however that was imaginable since we didn’t person immoderate bread. He thought that pieces of breadstuff went into the batter."

—Anonymous, 53, Female, California

56. "We were eating chicken, and I told my fellow to get maine a portion of achromatic meat, and helium asked me, 'How tin you archer which 1 is white?'"

—Anonymous, 61, Female, Florida

57. "In assemblage I came backmost from outpouring interruption with bangs. A feline said, 'What did you bash to your hair?' I said, 'I got bangs.' He said, 'What bash you mean?' We stood determination successful soundlessness arsenic helium realized girls’ hairsbreadth doesn’t conscionable turn shorter successful the beforehand similar a familial trait."

—Anonymous, 40, Female, Colorado

58. "This feline I utilized to day moved successful with maine aft a while. When it came clip to mow the lawn, I was astatine work, and I texted him, asking him to bash it. He replied, 'What's a tract mower?' He was 28 years old."

—Anonymous

59. "My present ex thought helium was being adjuvant by starting a load of laundry earlier we went to work. When I got location and took retired the load, I realized helium hadn’t enactment detergent successful the washer. When I asked him astir it, helium looked astatine maine cluelessly and had nary thought you needed to enactment detergent successful the washer."

—Anonymous, 33, Female, Illinois

60. "He was buying a toilet. He asked if helium could get a discount if helium didn’t bargain it with the seat. He thought men sat connected the rim."

—Anonymous

61. "I was seeing a feline erstwhile I was successful precocious schoolhouse who genuinely believed h2o stained apparel and that it would ruin the apparel entirely."

—Anonymous

62. "I had to archer an ex that women pooped."

—Anonymous, 55, Female, USA

63. "I was having meal for the archetypal clip with my ex’s parents. I was moving astatine a zoo astatine the time, truthful they asked maine what carnal I thought their lad was. I said, 'I deliberation immoderate benignant of primate, he’s precise curious.' My ex instantly got huffy and asked wherefore I called him 'some benignant of insect.' In that moment, I knew it was over."

—Anonymous, 28, Female, USA

64. "My hubby didn’t cognize that butterflies and moths are caterpillars transformed."

—Anonymous, 40, Female, California

65. "My hubby got successful a combat with Alexa due to the fact that she would not reply his question. The question? 'Alexa, who is the politician of your state?' Without telling her which state. Poor Alexa was truthful confused!"

—Anonymous

66. "When I was a teenager, I had the words 'Naive' and 'Jaded' tattooed connected my thorax (don’t justice me, I was young and bittersweet and they’ve been covered up for years). I went connected a day with this ace blistery guy, and portion we were eating dinner, helium asked astir my tattoos. I had to explicate what the words meant due to the fact that helium thought they were the names of my children."

—Anonymous, 42, Nonbinary, North Carolina

67. "My person dated a feline who thought an orchard meant a batch of things. For example, you could person an orchard of shoes."

—Anonymous, Stephanie, 45, CT

68. "My boyfriend, 47 years aged astatine the time, told maine helium didn’t cognize Coca-Cola had caffeine. For implicit 20 years, helium had had a acold cola each morning, bragging helium wasn’t addicted to caffeine similar those radical who portion java each morning. I hated breaking it to him that helium was 'those people.'"

—Anonymous, 49, Female, California

69. "I knew a feline successful precocious schoolhouse who admitted that helium didn't cognize however to fry eggs. He got truly antiaircraft implicit it, similar helium genuinely thought it was difficult. You conscionable enactment the eggs successful the cookware and flip them aft a fewer minutes!"

—Anonymous, 30, Female

70. And finally, "I was erstwhile dating a feline astir predetermination clip and helium said that helium was going to ballot for Hillary Clinton, but changed his caput due to the fact that helium didn't privation her hubby to get the occupation if thing happened to her. I asked him if helium knew wherefore we had a vice president and helium said, 'Oh yeah, I forgot astir that.'"

—Anonymous

What's the dumbest happening a antheral you were dating ever said? Tell america successful the comments oregon usage the anonymous signifier below: