2 hours ago
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Note: This station includes topics of intersexual battle and violence.
It's harmless to accidental that backmost successful the day, things were a batch different. The pressures of nine were a batch much intense, and a batch much scrutinized. A batch of things that were considered "common" backmost past would perfectly not beryllium tolerated successful the twelvemonth 2025.
So erstwhile this Reddit station started gaining immoderate traction, I wanted to spot however overmuch nine has changed successful regards to "forced" marriages. For the record, we're not talking astir "arranged" marriages that is communal successful different cultures. Let's spot immoderate of the apical responses!
1. "Not precisely successful the mode astir radical deliberation of it. I was moving for my archetypal constabulary section successful 1975. My wife-to-be and I were surviving merrily successful sin… She’d conscionable gotten divorced and was a spot shy of matrimony and we were committed anyway. But the bluenosed section medication recovered retired that we were 'cohabiting' and they couldn’t person that! I got a missive saying either get joined oregon quit. So, we got joined legally by a circuit judge, and had our ain ceremonial astatine the barroom wherever we me. A bully clip was had by all. BTW… We lasted 50 years. My woman passed distant aboriginal past month."
2. "I got joined to flight my parents. I walked retired of the frying cookware and into the fire. I tolerated the maltreatment for 28 years. No 1 knows however fucking frightened you are to leave, much than you are to stay. I’ve been azygous for 17 years."
3. "I was 20 and my woman was 18 erstwhile she got pregnant. We present person 3 children, 4 grandchildren, 3 great-grandchildren, and celebrated our 59th wedding day earlier this year. It doesn't ever crook retired badly."
4. "My grandma is inactive alive; she is 97. She got large astatine 20 and had to get joined arsenic a result. The matrimony failed spectacularly; helium was beauteous jealous and seemingly accused her of going to conscionable different men adjacent erstwhile she was conscionable walking down the thoroughfare with my mum, and a babe successful the pram. But mostly, they were conscionable not compatible. They divided up truthful rapidly that my mum didn't cognize helium was her begetter until she was successful her twenties."
"However, my grandma said that it was mean past that erstwhile you were married, that was it, determination was nary going backmost if you were unhappy, you were expected to instrumentality it out. But her dada told her she could travel home, truthful she did. I ne'er met my great-grandfather but erstwhile she told maine that, my bosom melted for him."
5. "I lone knew 1 feline successful assemblage who had to wed to prevention face. Had 1 woman who joined to flight from the play of her parent's location to participate the play of a fundamentalist hermit who wanted her to breed a religion of kids. She escaped aft three."
"(I did not marry, person nary kids.)"
6. "I did. I volition say, I regretted it for a fewer years, each the portion staying due to the fact that I had 3 children with him. We managed 4 years of matrimony counseling and astir divorced galore times. Made it to the different side, and I person ne'er been much successful emotion and much blessed with anyone successful my life. And we some consciousness this way. It was worthy the combat to fig it retired for us. We are present 17 years in, and I'd bash it each implicit to person him and my family."
—[deleted user]
7. "I was a waiting to wed successful 1984, moved successful with him and got a 'shut up' ringing successful precocious 1982, but helium kept moving the wedding date. Diaphragms don't enactment erstwhile you permission them successful the drawer. Oops. We were some overjoyed and got joined 3 months later. I was 31 and my bio timepiece had been driving maine nuts since I'd finished my actuarial exams truthful determination was nary question I was having this kid."
"But my hubby was a hard antheral — ever had been. He was an alcoholic, controlling, and was unemployed the past 5 years of the marriage. We divorced successful 1997. So, it ended successful flames.
Right present I person a fantastic son, 3 grandchildren I love, a daughter-in-law who's the girl I ne'er had, and much wealth than I need. Life is good. So, successful the extremity it worked out, but determination were immoderate bumps successful the road."
8. "Kind of had to. We would person conscionable lived unneurotic otherwise, but arsenic we were some from antithetic countries, the lone mode we could unrecorded unneurotic semipermanent was to marry. We had, however, been bully friends for 5 years earlier that and knew each different truly well. It each worked out; we're inactive unneurotic 17 years later."
9. "We got joined successful 1977 and the babe was calved a twelvemonth later. Still joined and doing great. Our 50th day volition beryllium successful 2027!"
10. "We met connected a unsighted day erstwhile I came location from assemblage for Thanksgiving my inferior twelvemonth of college. Married 2 days aft my 21st birthday, the pursuing September. I had to permission to spell backmost to schoolhouse 2.5 hours distant a fewer days aft the wedding. Did not person the clip oregon the funds for a honeymoon. Our lad was calved successful February. After graduation, I continued my acquisition for an further twelvemonth to get a 2nd degree. I was fortunate to implicit my studies backmost home. We volition beryllium joined 44 years this September. We person 3 palmy children and 1 grandchild. We precocious retired aft my vocation successful healthcare, and hers arsenic a question agent. We built our home, traveled, sent our children to assemblage (paid each tuition) and person a comfy retirement."
"We person shared and abstracted hobbies. She was and inactive is the astir beauteous pistillate I person ever seen. We person ever had shared values. Never had a disagreement astir finances. How did it crook out? I wouldn’t alteration anything."
11. "We didn't 'have to' — we chose to. After lone knowing each different for 3 months, and uncovering retired that she was pregnant, we conscionable dove close into it. We're inactive unneurotic aft 46 years, and look astatine each different the aforesaid mode we did the nighttime that we met. With lone somewhat deteriorated vision."
12. "When I was successful precocious school, my person was taken by an ambulance from her fast-food occupation to the infirmary for an appendicitis attack. She had a babe that night. I went to spot her astatine location a mates of days later, and she and her fellow were readying their wedding. I deliberation their lad was 3 weeks aged erstwhile they got married. We each grew up and mislaid interaction with each other, but I ran into her hubby astir 20 years later. They were inactive joined and helium was intelligibly inactive wholly caput implicit heels successful emotion with her. Shotgun wedding? Kind of. But specified a amusive emotion story."
13. "Danish 16–17-year-old tourists came to my country connected abrogation successful the '60s. My begetter and his friends of the aforesaid property had a bully time. 3 months later, the constabulary rang the doorbell. One of the girls was pregnant. Everyone astatine the constabulary presumption was trying to find retired who slept with who. Living successful a portion wherever words person value, everyone promised to wed the miss if it was him."
"It happened to a person of my father. 60 years later, erstwhile you inquire him successful hindsight what helium regrets astir this, he'll archer you that it's having to larn a analyzable overseas language. They had 5 children and had their archetypal great-granddaughter successful March.
They're a truly cute couple."
14. "Found retired I was large 10 days aft my 19th birthday. Didn’t archer my parents until I was astir 5 months pregnant. Everyone told maine to 'get joined earlier the babe is born.' Got joined 2 months later. He was an alcoholic with undiagnosed intelligence problems who abused maine and the kids. But 'you get married, you enactment married.' I did for astir 10 years earlier I got the courageousness to leave. He coiled up drinking himself to decease by property 39. I paid for him to beryllium cremated and buried due to the fact that that’s what the kids wanted. Never again."
15. "I got large astatine 31, and adjacent though I did not privation to get married, I did it to unafraid amended health/dental benefits for my child. I’m inactive joined to the aforesaid guy, had different kid, and inactive emotion him, 31 years later."
16. "Me and my hubby were not readying connected getting married. But arsenic we approached retirement, it became evident that the government’s indifference toward healthcare issues would permission america vulnerable. So we got cheery joined to excavation our coverage. It’s been great! Thanks, government! I’m definite that’s what you intended for america each along."
17. "I ran distant to flight maltreatment astatine location erstwhile I was 16. I met a feline and wanted to get married. My dada signed disconnected connected it and I joined my 23-year-old statutory rapist. I realized it was a mistake wrong weeks. But I got large and didn't judge successful divorcement and surely thought that termination was murder. He abused maine brutally, but I didn't cognize thing different. It came to a caput erstwhile helium was chasing maine and my girl stepped retired of her room. When helium lunged astatine her, it flipped a power successful me. Somehow, I had the instinct to support my kids but not myself."
"I near the adjacent time and spent the adjacent 7 years warring him successful court. His grandparents had wealth and they wanted him to get custody. CPS kept him connected supervised visitation, but that didn't forestall him from harming the kids. The justice yet accepted their grounds erstwhile my youngest turned 12 and terminated his visitation.
Pure hellhole connected world for each of america due to the fact that 1 shitty loser needed to beryllium successful power to consciousness anything."
18. And finally, "She got large and had our kid earlier she could immigrate to my country. So fundamentally we had a household earlier we lived unneurotic oregon truly knew each different well. I emotion my son. He saved my beingness successful galore ways. But I had overmuch little successful communal with my woman arsenic I came to realize. Too late. We had much kids which meant much childcare time, and little clip with her. It was implicit 20 years earlier I yet accepted that it was not a steadfast narration and we would ne'er beryllium happy. She refused matrimony counseling, truthful we got divorced. Finally. Best determination successful a agelong time."
Did you person to get married? What's that story? I'm curious! Drop it successful the comments oregon usage the anonymous signifier below.
Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.
English (US) ·