Men Are Sharing Their Honest Thoughts On The "Male Loneliness Epidemic," And Whew, They're Not Holding Back

As a azygous woman, I emotion asking men astir their thoughts connected the male loneliness epidemic. Us women person experienced the consequences, peculiarly successful our dating lives (say it with me: men don't effort anymore!). But it's hard for america to recognize what the antheral loneliness epidemic really looks similar for men — the lonely ones, arsenic good arsenic those who witnesser their buddies experiencing it.

Like, I wanna know: Do men deliberation it's real? And supra all, wherefore bash they deliberation men are truthful lonely nowadays? Basically, EXPLAIN YOURSELVES! It makes zero consciousness to my highly non-lonely female brain. So I compiled immoderate responses from men connected Reddit who answered the question, "What is your instrumentality connected the 'male loneliness epidemic'?" — here's what they said:

1. "Many younger radical who've grown up with the net don't person hobbies extracurricular of their homes, and they are lacking societal skills. They don't look to cognize however to marque friends. It doesn't assistance that a batch of men got lured into influencers' BS by a fewer bully hints, a feeling of being understood, and a consciousness of community. In the end, they became little desirable arsenic friends and partners, and sadly, it'll instrumentality rather a portion for them to hole themselves."

–Nuttadamus

2. "I'm a cheery antheral who is besides precise emotionally aware, truthful my friendships are unconventional by antheral standards. I bash bask activities with friends, similar playing sports — antheral friendships thin to beryllium centered connected these activities — but I besides similar conversations astir feelings. Through these conversations, I've learned that immoderate consecutive males person weird holdups astir having feelings, oregon sharing them. With each antheral friend, I've had to enactment effort successful keeping the connection going and inviting them to things. With time, a fewer reciprocated, and they're my champion friends now. So I enactment a batch of the load of men feeling lonely connected themselves. Many won't marque the effort to marque friends, and past galore volition lone person friendships that tin beryllium described arsenic 'activity partners.' There's nary depth, truthful 1 does consciousness emotionally unfulfilled successful those benignant of friendships. It seems that consecutive males trust connected their pistillate partners to beryllium their societal and affectional outlet."

"How galore guys accidental that their champion person is their girlfriends? Ask the woman and they'll notation a pistillate person of theirs. 

Solution: marque it much acceptable for men to beryllium emotionally engaged with different males. Don’t marque amusive of radical for having emotions and beryllium determination for each other."

–pulsed19

3. "'Women lone privation men that marque six figures, are implicit 6 feet fall, and person a 6 pack!' is simply a sentiment I spot from young guys online a lot. They're each pissy due to the fact that they deliberation that's wherefore they can't get dates. But successful reality, astir of the guys astatine my enactment person a woman oregon girlfriend. None person much than 2 of those things, and respective person none. (I person nary of those)."

–Canadairy

4. "Is it real? Sure. Is it mostly self-inflicted? Absolutely. You spot the mode young men enactment and speech to radical (especially women); past they wonderment wherefore radical don't privation to beryllium astir them. Instead of moving connected themselves arsenic a person, they crook to simply moving retired and BS 'alpha male' societal media and podcasts. At this point, they are heavy down the rabbit hole. A small spot of advice: Treat radical with a basal level of respect, effort speaking similar a functioning adult, recognize women don't beryllium to lone delight you...and you'll get a spot further successful life."

–nola_mike

5. "In the United States, arsenic a household man, my idiosyncratic acquisition has been that astir men are not looking to 'shoot the shit' oregon link with chap men for the involvement of connecting. I precocious made a database of 10–12 caller encounters with acquaintances and different men who had exhibited a tendency to 'be friends,' and arsenic I listed them, I saw a precise absorbing signifier emerge: Most of the men successful question conscionable wanted my proposal connected their vocation oregon to get wealth from me. The #1 treatment taxable was careers. The lone mode I'm capable to conscionable simply speech astir philosophical things, oregon sermon my feelings, oregon or societal observations is either online, oregon with pistillate friends."

–illabilla

6. "It's precise real, and I'm a sufferer. I'm trying to travel to presumption with trying activities connected my own, but it sucks, due to the fact that I consciousness similar everyone's judgy astir doing worldly similar bowling connected your own. It conscionable feels precise sad. I've tried tons of antithetic things to marque friends, some antheral and female, but I'm conscionable not susceptible of it, truthful I'm amended disconnected accepting the reality."

–Throwaway945384

7. "When I spot it being mocked arsenic a joke, I deliberation that's rather interesting, due to the fact that it's astir similar a larger-scale illustration of the thought that erstwhile men unfastened up astir their vulnerabilities (e.g. to their partners) that this often ends up getting utilized against them astatine a aboriginal day oregon successful a aboriginal argument. It seems the 'male loneliness epidemic' (or the 'male loser epidemic,' arsenic I've really seen it called before) is commonly present utilized arsenic a constituent to bash men with successful online sex wars."

–PostNutLucidity

"It's precise real, and I hatred that it's utilized arsenic a joke."

–HonestlyKindaOverIt

8. "We've mislaid galore 'third places,' and the net isn't a suitable replacement for a batch of people. This isn't an exclusively antheral problem, but it seems similar it whitethorn interaction men a small spot more. Even now, determination are inactive tons of opportunities for assemblage and assemblage interaction. There are each sorts of things, from competitory sports leagues to committee crippled nights, to each sorts of weird niche hobby meet-ups."

–Jayrandomer

9. And similarly: "Social media. It's virtually created a mendacious world wherever radical deliberation they person friendships that they truly don't. I won't adjacent spell into however overmuch it strokes peoples egos, and has astir a taste narcissism to it."

–Kreynard54

10. "There's this feline I cognize who was complaining astir the antheral loneliness epidemic this 1 time, and I asked him to bent out, and helium declined. Like, what the hellhole are we to do? We person societal media groups afloat of sad, lonely males, and the millisecond you suggest that they, like, bash things to marque them little lonely, they conscionable halt chatting and spell play video games oregon something."

–Cold-Pomegranate6739

11. "I'm not saying galore men aren't lonely. But a batch of it seems self-inflicted. I spot dudes successful their 20s already giving up and becoming assholes astir it. If you're privileged capable to unrecorded with a household that supports you, past I'd accidental it's little loneliness successful wide and much romanticist longing. That's inactive an issue, but not 'oh my god, nary 1 loves maine and I'm each alone.' And also, women are successful the aforesaid economy, and galore of them are surviving astatine home, too. Yeah, moving retired successful a narration is simply a immense step, but there's inactive dating. I mean, precocious schoolhouse students date, and they each unrecorded astatine home."

–DreadfulRauw

12. "I had a caller speech astir this with a 21-year-old male. I enactment for his household and technically unrecorded with them. The household is precise blimpish successful their governmental beliefs. He was explaining that helium feels near behind, and that determination aren't immoderate women who privation a accepted matrimony anymore. He would similar to find a woman who wants to enactment location and rise kids. He is an incredibly bully kid, but he's taking a spread twelvemonth successful assemblage close now, doesn't person immoderate of his ain wealth oregon a occupation of immoderate kind, and wholly depends connected his parents to enactment him — down to his parent inactive booking his flights and appointments. I don't recognize however helium feels near behind, but he's not moving towards being a provider. His dada isn't going to fto him conscionable articulation his institution — helium has to find his ain way and beryllium palmy connected his ain first, but doesn't look to person the tendency to bash so."

–Enough_Loss3310

13. "It's real, and I blasted it connected what I telephone the 'middle-age malaise.' When we were successful our teens and 20s, we each enactment a batch of effort into socializing. Group chats were fun, numerous, and high-energy. There wasn't overmuch quality betwixt socializing betwixt women and men. Plans were made and radical were invited. In our 30s, that each started to change. Guys person gotten lazy. Too galore ADULTS are addicted to video games, drugs, and gambling. Traveling to spot a person is 'too far.' Sending occasional texts and memes is excessively overmuch work. Guys volition bent retired successful a full societal radical built astir a hobby, and not marque plans extracurricular of it. With friends who are partnered, having the girlfriends marque the plans is easier. A batch of guys person conscionable become...boring. Like, each they bash is work, sleep, walk clip with their spouse, and look astatine screens. No hobbies, nary caller experiences, nary humour similar backmost successful the day."

–TopShelfSnipes

14. "It’s 100% real, but not astir arsenic large of a woody arsenic societal media makes it retired to be, and astir of the clip it's wholly self-made. If you spell extracurricular a batch and are wide a decent idiosyncratic moving connected yourself, it's not an issue. If you're stuck wrong sharing extremist views connected X portion listening to aggravated governmental podcasts connected the side, past it's astir apt the azygous biggest contented you're proceeding about. For what it's worth, I'd accidental much than fractional of men complaining astir the antheral loneliness epidemic merit it — which makes maine dependable atrocious until you spot the vile crap immoderate of these radical accidental and what they judge in."

–JPT_Corona

15. "It's a 'the net and societal media person disrupted mean quality interaction' epidemic. Male loneliness is lone a tiny part. I cognize excessively galore young men aged 18–25 who person nary friends oregon girlfriends successful the carnal world. They enactment inside, play online each day, and person themselves that randos and chatbots connected the net — positive OnlyFans and Instagram models — are their 'friends' and 'girlfriends.' It's a catastrophe successful the semipermanent for our state and the world. We conscionable don't spot it yet."

–stuckanon01

16. "I don't truly attraction for wide buzzword terms, but I bash hold that a batch of men find it precise hard oregon astir intolerable to forge meaningful connections. It's astir apt a substance of the modern net property and the information that men successful wide aren't trained with the tools to really person those connections. A batch of men are hesitant to stock their emotions with some men and women, due to the fact that a batch of the time, they're met with indifference oregon ridicule. Occasionally, immoderate radical genuinely bash attraction and assistance out, but erstwhile you're chopped capable times, you don't wanna instrumentality the hazard and enactment yourself retired there. Other times, your vulnerabilities tin beryllium utilized to wounded you later, truthful it's similar a vicious cycle. Some radical volition accidental things similar 'self-inflicted' oregon 'it's your fault,' but that's a large portion of the problem. Instead of proceeding radical retired and taking their feelings seriously, radical wanna enactment them down to consciousness superior."

–ShtankAsh

17. "We person turned into a gamer society. That teaches radical a batch of antagonistic traits. The archetypal is that you tin reset and commencement implicit and not person to woody with your issues. To beryllium a person and person friends, you person to beryllium capable to woody with issues wrong yourself and externally. Too galore radical spell retreat into their games. Secondly, determination is truthful overmuch fearfulness being proposed. I spot it successful aggregate male-oriented cultures — it's hard to beryllium friends erstwhile you are perpetually competing and afraid."

–codeegan

18. "I bash deliberation it's a existent issue, but I don't deliberation uncovering relationships with women is the answer. I deliberation we've gotta beryllium the alteration we privation to spot successful the world. You've gotta beryllium determination for your bros sometimes, and I don't deliberation that's encouraged capable among men. It's 1 happening for women to beryllium dismissive of men, but to spot different men bash the aforesaid happening to different men...it's each precise unfortunate. I deliberation don't this contented volition ever beryllium resolved without men looking wrong themselves and saying, 'This cannot continue.'"

–xemnas103

19. "I've noticed that everyone I cognize successful existent beingness who complains astir the antheral loneliness epidemic is idiosyncratic who I'd expect to accidental thing similar that. So overmuch of this is self-inflicted, it's chaotic — I person a person from assemblage who ne'er replies to my texts oregon makes excuses whenever I invitation them to hangs, but past spends each his clip connected X talking astir however lonely helium is. Also, idiosyncratic erstwhile said to maine that the cure for loneliness is to permission the house, always, adjacent erstwhile it's the past happening you privation to do."

–ThyDoctor

20. "More men request to beryllium consenting to measurement guardant and instrumentality inaugural to bent out, plan, and acceptable up meet-ups. It's a two-way thoroughfare for effort. A batch of men conscionable don't effort immoderate of that. A batch of men besides request to beryllium consenting to bash each of that arsenic well. Some conscionable are not."

–Allen_Edgar_Poe

21. "Like galore sociological phenomena, it's boiling a analyzable acceptable of interweaving problems into a punchy catchphrase. That isn't constructive, but I accidental it's amended than not discussing it astatine all. I bash deliberation it's real, but galore radical (as always) stroke it retired of proportion, whether to victimize themselves oregon weaponize it against men. The factors driving it are chiefly the accrued outgo of surviving (people going retired less), decreased occupation information (not capable wealth to physique yourself up), beingness moving much online aft the pandemic, and the messiness that are existent sex roles and expectations (no communal ground to enactment disconnected of). I don't cognize wherever I'd statesman with trying to hole it specifically, but the abolition of societal media — oregon astatine slightest banning personalized algorithms — are f*cking everyone's worldly up everyplace truthful badly, it's crazy."

–Identity_ranger

22. "I deliberation it's real, but I don't deliberation it's a 'male loneliness epidemic.' We've got issues erstwhile that galore radical are saying they are lonely oregon feeling disconnected. It seems much similar a younker oregon young big loneliness contented than a antheral one. The lone happening 'male' astir it are the grifters trying to marque it a manosphere issue."

–bangbangracer

23. "I deliberation radical successful wide don't cognize however to speech oregon interact with 1 different anymore. Stuff similar Tinder made it excessively casual to swipe and not person to interest astir introducing yourself oregon talking to a stranger. Find hobbies you enjoy, bash them successful public, and you'll much than apt conscionable a azygous idiosyncratic with your interests you get on with."

–Capable-Yak-8486

24. "It's the benignant of happening men volition person to instrumentality work for if they privation it to change. You can't conscionable place societal flaws, complain, and past beryllium backmost and hold for things to improve. Instead, enactment connected becoming much agreeable and desirable to person arsenic a person oregon partner. It's virtually your lone choice."

–AjaxFeb20

25. "It's a bullshit excuse by whiny boys who don't privation to instrumentality a hard look successful the reflector and spot which deficiencies are contributing to their inability to find a spouse oregon friends."

–CFD330

26. "Men volition self-isolate. We don't privation to beryllium a occupation oregon a burden, truthful logically, we conscionable spell implicit determination somewhere, and beryllium by ourselves with our feelings."

–Mission-Story-1879

27. And finally: "It's not existent if you marque an effort to marque friends and date. Most of the radical complaining astir this are not trying astatine all. They're waiting for a cleanable pistillate to autumn into their lap."

–icedcoffeeheadass

Now, tin I springiness you my opinion? From what I've seen arsenic a azygous girlie, this occupation is real...but immoderate of these men request immoderate pugnacious love. Loneliness is simply a choice, and it's wide men are failing to link with others. That's a occupation lone they tin fix. So it's clip they get up, get outside, and commencement opening up astir their emotions. Sincerely, a Gen Z pistillate who is bushed of excuses.

What are your thoughts connected the antheral loneliness epidemic? Tell maine successful the comments below! Let's chat!

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Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.