I Was A Disillusioned Waiter In New York. A Chance Encounter With Catherine O'Hara Changed My Life.

“What’s your name?” Catherine O’Hara asked me, leaning guardant successful the booth. “What’s your story?”

I was lasting successful a swanky edifice successful New York City wearing a achromatic formal abbreviated capable to fulfill management, my hands clasped down my backmost successful lawsuit a manager appeared. I had conscionable breached the astir important regularisation of the job: Never admit a celebrity.

Three months earlier, I had dropped disconnected my resume anyplace I could successful hopes of securing a occupation that would supplement what my $35-a-week publishing intern stipend wouldn’t get me, which was, of course, everything but my subway fare.

I was bare successful each consciousness of the word. By the extremity of the day, I was offered 3 serving jobs and took them all. One was astatine this legendary edifice continuously afloat of stone stars, Oscar-winning actors and models. 

During my interview, the manager had ignored my flimsy (both successful substance and content) resume and assessed my assemblage instead. My waist. My chest. My legs. He said they had a spot for maine arsenic a cocktail server successful the backstage lounge wherever the windows were tinted, the tables were debased and loungy, and the lone clientele allowed successful were ultra-wealthy patrons and celebrities.

The manager told maine to amusement up aboriginal that nighttime for my archetypal grooming displacement and emphasized that the formal codification was each black, dresses only, hemlines not to transcend the extremity of my fingertips erstwhile my arms were hanging by my sides.

“We similar the skirt to graze your archetypal knuckles,” helium said, making a fist and pointing to the ridged apical of his manus to marque his point.

I was 22, caller retired of college, and acceptable to bash immoderate it took to go a writer. If I tin marque it here... I thought.

When I walked successful for my archetypal shift, I was amazed to spot a person from assemblage moving astatine the big stand. Back successful Colorado, he’d been a boisterous theatre kid — lanky with agleam bluish eyes and flamboyant energy. Now helium looked hollowed retired — acheronian nether the eyes, little “youthfully thin” and much underfed. He seemed bushed and nervous, and his eyes flicked astir arsenic if we mightiness get successful occupation for hugging.

The server I was assigned to shadiness approached the big basal to retrieve me. She was gorgeous, waifish, and successful spot of the aerial of sadness my assemblage acquaintance had, she’d built a bitter bubble of sarcasm astir herself.

She walked maine rapidly done the labyrinthine back-of-house, dodging catcalls from her co-workers and managers deftly. She listed disconnected rules arsenic I struggled to support up. Three of them stuck out.

1. We were required to effort everything connected the menu, which perked maine up arsenic a hungry, broke idiosyncratic utilized to lone eating household repast slop earlier a shift.

2. We were a “pooled house,” which meant the managers gathered and past divvied up our tips (after shaving a cut).

3. We were not allowed — under immoderate circumstances — to uncover that we recognized a celebrity. We were to dainty everyone arsenic an anonymous guest. Asking for an autograph, a photo, oregon adjacent announcing that you were a instrumentality of anyone celebrated would effect successful contiguous termination.

Perhaps this past regularisation sounds casual capable to follow, but during my archetypal grooming shift, Jay-Z, Adam Sandler and Mariah Carey were among our guests. 

I lasted 1 period astatine this restaurant. Long capable to devour my mode done the paper and stitchery capable personage run-in anecdotes to past a lifetime. My cocktail enactment stories abruptly progressive run-ins with Bill Belichick, Jon Bon Jovi, Jonah Hill and Josh Hartnett, among many, galore others. But not adjacent these breathtaking encounters could marque up for the depleting ambiance of moving successful a spot wherever each unit subordinate was a hopeful singer, model, histrion oregon artist.

After my archetypal shift, I witnessed the server who was grooming maine gain implicit $1,000 successful tips — past locomotion retired the doorway with lone $220 aft management’s cut. When I asked astir the extremity breakdown, my manager was finishing a enactment of cocaine successful his windowless basement office. His mentation made small sense, but helium laughed astatine my confusion, and I near his bureau feeling dejected and violated.

However, what truly convinced maine that I couldn’t past determination agelong was erstwhile I realized that my co-workers each seemed to beryllium struggling with disordered eating. Years earlier, aft my dada had died abruptly of a bosom attack, I’d developed my ain eating upset — a coping mechanics that came with consequences. I’d dilatory healed successful college, partially acknowledgment to a choky ellipse of fantastic friends. Now, without them and being surrounded by behaviors that I instantly recognized arsenic perchance damaging, I felt my anxiousness rising successful a caller — though disturbingly acquainted — way.

During my enactment shifts, my trainer-server and I worked done the restaurant’s menu, each nighttime picking thing caller for maine to try, and we’d beryllium connected the backmost staircase (there was nary interruption room) portion she explained the crockery to me. No substance what it was — tuna connected crispy rice, a achromatic truffle pizza, fractional a roast chickenhearted connected a upland of ail mashed potatoes — she refused to person a bite.

“No way. I’m trying to beryllium an actress,” she told me. “I wouldn’t adjacent devour a cucumber here. They enactment sesame lipid connected everything.”

She joked astir it — “I don’t eat, really. None of america do.”

Though I wasn’t attempting to marque it arsenic an actress, I inactive began to permission nutrient connected the plate, uneasy astir doing so, but besides disquieted she mightiness person a point. She was putting her goals first. Hunger arsenic discipline. Emptiness arsenic a badge of ambition. Maybe fed girls didn’t marque it successful NYC.

By the clip I walked successful for my past grooming displacement connected a Sunday night, I was thinner, my tone was beaten down, and I was disquieted astir the roadworthy I seemed to beryllium headed backmost down.

I was besides inactive broke. I’d trained for 7 shifts astatine $10 an hour, and I was relieved erstwhile my trainer asked maine to instrumentality this displacement alone. The managers were obscurity to beryllium found, arsenic usual, and she wanted to conscionable up with her fellow — a instrumentalist who was ever cheating connected her. The edifice was slow, she told maine I present knew what I was doing, and, champion of all, she would fto maine instrumentality each of the tips I made home.

At astir 9 o’clock, 3 women walked in: 2 women I’d ne'er seen earlier and the 1 and lone Catherine O’Hara. I froze. My caput flashed to O’Hara’s squiggly sideburns successful “Beetlejuice.” Her iconic “Kevin!” successful “Home Alone.” The dozens and dozens of times my sister and I had watched “Best successful Show.” All of the characters she’d played that shaped my consciousness of humor. My consciousness of joy. How could I perchance service her without telling her I loved her?

They sat successful a model booth with Catherine successful the center. When I went to greet her party, her friends enthusiastically interrupted to archer maine they were taking her retired for her birthday. She shook her caput sheepishly, embarrassed and amused.

“We’ve been friends forever,” she told me. “They don’t fto maine get distant with anything.”

As a writer, I effort to debar cliches, but reader, her eyes genuinely sparkled with beingness and kindness.

Soon, they were my lone table. I folded napkins a abbreviated region distant from them and watched the 3 friends bask each other’s institution — and 1 of everything from the starter section, positive a burger, the tuna and the chicken. They shared a vessel of vino and giggled similar girls.

Over the people of their meal, I realized that successful conscionable a fewer weeks, the edifice I stood successful had distorted what occurrence should look like, but nary 1 could extinguish the aura of existent occurrence that radiated disconnected Catherine. She had “it” — that happening I’d travel to NYC to beryllium I had, too, and “it” wasn’t thinness oregon ambition astatine each costs, oregon adjacent talent, though of people she had that, too. It was her consciousness of aforesaid — however she held herself and confidently, yet humbly, moved done the satellite — that nary 1 could rival... oregon instrumentality distant from her. 

By the clip I dropped the cocoa soufflé off, their array held the past lit candle successful the restaurant. 

I placed the dessert successful beforehand of Catherine, and past I took a breath.

“I’m not expected to fuss our celebrated diners,” I said, “but I conscionable person to archer you however overmuch your acting means to maine and my sister. ‘Best successful Show’ is our favourite movie, and your quality is my favorite.”

“Me?” she said, genuinely incredulous. “Your favorite!”

“I’m atrocious to fuss you. I conscionable had to accidental something. Happy birthday.” I rapidly turned away, mortified.

“Wait,” she called aft me, “What’s your name? What’s your story?”

She insisted that I articulation them successful their booth and asked what benignant of creator I was.

“Every server successful this metropolis has an absorbing story,” she said, gesturing her spoon toward me, her rima afloat of day soufflé, and the trio’s attraction present fully, yet comfortably, connected me.

I told her each astir my imagination to beryllium an writer and astir the abbreviated communicative I was moving on.

“What if 1 of the characters dies?” she riffed, delighted.

Were we collaborating? I could hardly breathe.

I was gladsome to person refused their connection of a wound of soufflé due to the fact that the manager abruptly appeared from his basement lair, and I instantly popped retired of the booth.

“I’ll conscionable drawback you the check,” I said, with my arms down my backmost again, successful an effort to look professional. She winked astatine maine arsenic I walked away.

She paid the measure herself, though her friends tried, and though my extremity retired didn’t bespeak it, she near maine 100% connected their $400 measure and a enactment that read, “I cognize your time volition come. Keep writing.”

The manager wouldn’t fto maine support the receipt, but I didn’t request it.

Catherine had fixed maine thing invaluable that night. Her kindness has ever stayed with me. She showed maine a antithetic mode to beryllium an creator — to beryllium a person. She chose passion, curiosity, individuality and humility successful an manufacture that often made that consciousness impossible.

I ne'er went backmost to the edifice again aft that night. I near earlier the thinness of the spot convinced maine I had to vanish to merit a future. There were plentifulness of different workplace cultures up of maine that would besides effort to normalize self-erasure arsenic ambition, but years later, erstwhile I sat down to constitute this effort conscionable days aft Catherine O’Hara’s death, I could inactive intelligibly conjure that infinitesimal with her. Thanks to her, I inactive effort to travel my appetite, to question fullness and to believe, adjacent connected my hungriest days, that my time volition come.

Sammi LaBue is the laminitis of Fledgling Writing Workshops (“Best Writing Workshops,” Timeout NY) and fundamentally obsessed with the feeling of having an thought and penning it down. Her latest task is simply a precocious finished memoir written successful collaboration with her ma titled “Bad Apples.” Some of her different essays tin beryllium recovered successful BuzzFeed, Slate, Literary Hub, The Sun, Glamour and more. To travel her penning travel and find opportunities to constitute with her flow, sojourn fledgling.substack.com.

This nonfiction primitively appeared connected HuffPost successful February 2026.

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