4 days ago
11
When we're young, we often play location and imagination up a beingness wherever we person a household of our own, kids, and all. But is that thing we really want, oregon thing we're supposed to want?
1. "Seeing my friends go parents and witnessing what it did to their health, relationships, careers, and happiness."
2. "I realized I didn’t spot that my hubby would bash his just stock of the childcare and housework."
3. "I honestly lone ever thought I wanted children erstwhile I was successful relationships. We would sermon children astatine that signifier of the narration wherever you’re asking, 'What’s next?' Going done a breakup, I ever noticed that my tendency for children would vanish with my partner. It made maine recognize that I lone privation kids due to the fact that it’s thing that my partner/society wanted. When I really beryllium determination and deliberation astir it arsenic my azygous self, I person nary tendency for children. I genuinely cannot adjacent ideate them successful my future."
—u/nf598
4. "I tried being an au brace successful my 20s. Luckily, I realized I bash not similar children earlier I ever made my own."
5. "I thought I wanted kids until I was astir 12. Then I started babysitting and realized... perfectly not. That, positive my ma ever wishing that I would person 'a kid who makes maine arsenic miserable arsenic I made her.' I'm 41 now, married, and sterilized."
"Wasn’t that ever the threat? 'I can’t hold until you person a girl truthful I tin laughter erstwhile she screams astatine you that she hates you,' and 'Think agelong and hard astir having kids due to the fact that *extremely agelong pause* you can’t instrumentality it back.' Direct quotes from my mom."
6. "Watching my sister-in-law springiness commencement to her lad was capable for me. It was some astonishing to spot my nephew travel into this satellite and instrumentality his archetypal breath, and traumatic arsenic hellhole to spot what happens to your assemblage during that moment. I americium truthful gladsome I got to beryllium portion of that acquisition with her, but damn, I knew close past that wasn't for me. Came location and told my hubby the adjacent morning, 'It ain't happening!' He got a vasectomy 1 twelvemonth later."
—u/stef8047
7. "Because I’m tired, and I conscionable don’t person the vigor to. This is thing I realized astatine a definite point."
8. "As I approached my 30s, I began to deliberation agelong and hard astir my future. I confronted my motivations for wanting children and recovered I didn’t person a bully crushed for wanting them. I wanted kids due to the fact that I wanted unconditional love, not due to the fact that I wanted to person kids, which would person been absurdly toxic had I ever had immoderate without that introspection."
—u/le-revenant
9. "I came to recognize I similar slumber waaayyyyy excessively overmuch to beryllium a liable parent."
10. "I got my archetypal canine and americium determined to springiness him his champion life. The enactment of taking attraction of a canine is much than capable for me. I ever wanted kids, but now, nope. Actually, hellhole nope. I had my tubes removed aft 1 twelvemonth with my puppy."
11. "The longer I worked successful OB/GYN, the lesser my tendency for a pregnancy/delivery became. I’m scheduled for a hysterectomy successful December!"
12. "My ma died erstwhile I was 25 aft a precise agelong illness, and past I went nary interaction with my dada astatine 29. At 30, mid-pandemic and successful a caller metropolis wherever I knew nary 1 but for my now-husband, I yet realized that my lifelong imagination of having kids was astir apt not realistic for me, fixed that we had nary household assistance and I question for business. My hubby was incredibly supportive and afloat agreed. Now, we person 1 rescue canine who makes our household beyond complete, and I'm a arrogant aunt to the champion small niece ever."
"My sister went done the aforesaid acquisition with our parents, and present she is the happiest mom. It's a large illustration of however the aforesaid concern tin thrust radical to marque 2 antithetic decisions, and some travel retired precise blessed with their choices. My sister asks if being with my niece makes maine regret not having kids, and I'm like, 'nope!' Being an aunt to my niece is virtually the astir amusive setup I could imagine, and I emotion however my beingness turned retired fixed the circumstances."
—u/No_Knee4500
13. "When I was young, I really, truly wanted kids. I would imagination astir it, but past I ended up helping rise my siblings, and aboriginal my siblings' kids. I'm tired. I consciousness similar this lifetime, I should get immoderate clip disconnected to redo my childhood, and past I tin beryllium a ma successful the adjacent one. 😂"
14. "I realized that having kids isn’t conscionable playing and having cute moments together. It’s a immense carnal and fiscal undertaking with nary days off. Most parents, if they got a babysitter, would spell to a hotel, bid food, and conscionable ticker TV. That is my emblematic night, and I similar it that way."
—u/doja_ratt
15. "When I aftermath up Saturday mornings and prevarication successful furniture until 10 a.m. with a cupful of coffee, I deliberation however if I had children, my ass would beryllium up astatine 7 a.m. making breakfast. When I softly beryllium connected my sofa connected a Thursday night, eating takeout, I deliberation astir however I would beryllium getting kids acceptable for bed, and the takeout would outgo 4 times arsenic much. The older I get, the much I bask the quietness successful my life."
—u/JCAIA
16. "Never recovered a antheral that I wanted arsenic the begetter of my children. Never wanted to beryllium a azygous mom."
17. "I ever wanted kids and honestly inactive do, but person decided not to person them. I did the mathematics to estimation however overmuch wealth it would outgo a twelvemonth to supply a kid with the benignant of puerility I had—travel, large location with a yard, costly extracurriculars, university, and grad schoolhouse paid for by my parents—and realized I can’t spend it. I don’t privation to person children lone to beryllium incapable to springiness them the aforesaid opportunities arsenic I had, truthful I won’t person them."
18. "Children are loud, chaotic, messy, and overstimulating; the nonstop other of who I americium and the things I bask successful life. I would ne'er take to disrupt my peace. There are radical retired determination with overmuch amended qualities to beryllium parents, and it’s champion that I americium not 1 of them!"
19. "When my ma died, thing successful maine said I couldn't bring a kid into the satellite without her successful it."
20. "I wanted to extremity the rhythm of codependency successful my household enactment that conscionable kept focusing connected caller beingness vs healing, maturing, and exploring the possibilities of big beingness professionally, creatively, and sexually. I perfectly believe/see that determination are galore invaluable aspects of parenthood and however it tin mature a person, but I besides find that it often comes astatine the disbursal of different types of maturation. Parenthood often facilitates self-abandonment truthful severely, adjacent established adults with kids stay emotionally immature contempt the different types of growth. I wanted to beryllium the archetypal pistillate successful my lineage who genuinely knew herself."
21. And finally, "I conscionable started reasoning astir the aboriginal of our satellite and society, and what that aboriginal held for said children."
Was determination a infinitesimal successful your beingness erstwhile you realized you really don't privation children? Tell maine astir it successful the comments oregon usage the anonymous signifier below. Your effect whitethorn beryllium utilized successful an upcoming BuzzFeed article!
Note: Responses person been edited for length/clarity.
English (US) ·