Ex-Religious People Are Finally Revealing What *Actually* Made Them Stop Going To Church, And Their Stories Have My Head Spinning

Taylor Tomlinson said it good successful her Netflix drama special, Prodigal Daughter: "[Religion] tin beryllium interpreted successful truthful galore ways. Like, you tin accidental to a country afloat of people, 'Jesus loves you nary substance what.' And a batch of those radical volition hear, 'Jesus loves me!' But some of those radical volition hear, 'No substance what?' And that's the problem, right? Religion tin beryllium utilized arsenic either a limb oregon a tool."

She goes on, "'Cause if God exists, helium does not beryllium to marque you consciousness amended than different people. He exists to marque you amended for different people. And beingness is truthful f*cking hard. Whatever makes you a amended idiosyncratic for different people, that's what you should beryllium doing. We bash this weird happening that we hide that everybody's struggling." So yes, determination is nary close oregon incorrect reply astir the taxable we're astir to sermon — we are conscionable sharing people's stories.

Over connected Reddit, radical who've stepped distant from religion are opening up astir their reasons. From antagonistic idiosyncratic experiences to abrupt fallouts to interior doubts, galore are sharing honorable reflections connected what led them to leave. Take a look:

Please enactment that these submissions don't bespeak a cosmopolitan acquisition of religion. Everyone's communicative is different.

1. "I stopped going to our household religion erstwhile the pastor told maine I was not allowed to divorcement my hubby implicit home abuse...unless helium cheated connected me. I near him anyway."

—Illustrious-Tale683

2. "I near the religion erstwhile they said my mom's crab was God 'testing' my household and me."

—InspectorMadDog

3. "I slept successful 1 Sunday, and I loved it. I ne'er went backmost to Sunday School. My oldest is successful med school, and my different kids are large kids and students. When radical inquire maine however my woman and I raised large kids, I ever accidental that they ever got capable rest."

—Chemical_Defiant

4. "I near due to the fact that of their changeless absorption connected appearances. It seemed similar nary 1 really gave a sh*t what went connected down closed doors arsenic agelong arsenic they weren’t forced to admit it. It felt similar cipher would attraction if their backmost teeth were rotting retired conscionable arsenic agelong arsenic the beforehand looked nice, truthful to speak."

—ThatsAmoreMyGuy

5. "The galore evangelical churches I attended successful my country were purely societal clubs. Everyone came to amusement disconnected their clothes, babies, 'holiness,' oregon whatever...and past they'd spell backmost to being horrible erstwhile they walked retired the door."

—nndscrptuser

6. "Around 2003/2004, we got these 2 sermons successful back-to-back weeks successful Massachusetts: 1) Being homosexual is an abomination against God and is simply a horrible misdeed that goes against nature, and it's a disgrace to the Lord that these heathens legalized cheery marriage. 2) Although these priests were caught molesting children, we should forgive them arsenic Jesus forgave. After that, my full household could not beryllium portion of the Catholic religion anymore. The hypocrisy was palpable."

—WilmaTonguefit

7. "They seemed to privation wealth much than thing else."

—GeekyBookWorm87

"My ma stopped going due to the fact that each sermon ended with the value of giving."

—AnnualLychee1

"My mom’s erstwhile religion had a spreadsheet of everyone’s tithes. My ma gave each Sunday, but didn’t usage the envelopes. Someone leaked the spreadsheet, and its beingness understandably pissed disconnected a batch of people. My ma ne'er attended aft seeing $0 adjacent to our names — each due to the fact that she didn't enactment the wealth successful an envelope and motion her name." 

—Fishtacoburrito

"My parents were having fiscal hardships and utilizing nutrient banks to provender our family, and the religion guilt-tripped them for not donating." 

—SongsForBats

8. "It started to consciousness similar modern Christianity is simply a people religion wherever guns and prosperity doctrine are virtually a portion of the faith. They fundamentally preach that if you emotion God connected your ain terms, and you tin virtually bash immoderate you privation and inactive beryllium beatified and forgiven."

—SpikeRosered

9. "I'm a bisexual transfem and my dada was a Pastor. The refusal to ever admit it, speech astir anything, and ever support that outward quality caused maine truthful overmuch fear, guilt and shame. I near due to the fact that it stunted my quality to emotionally woody with things."

—Ankoku_Teion

10. "My relative died by suicide, and the clergyman told the hundreds of radical astatine the work that God loved my relative truthful overmuch helium couldn't hold for my relative to travel location to heaven. No. My uncle emotionally abused his household truthful overmuch that my relative wanted it to stop. God didn't assistance successful the 20 years of abuse, truthful wherefore did God abruptly measurement successful to 'save' him then? On the 1 hand, they preach that if God similar you, helium volition 'bless' you with a agelong life. On the different hand, God 'brings radical location to heaven' astatine a younger property due to the fact that helium likes them more? So which is it? Does God springiness radical helium likes longer lives oregon shorter lives?"

—ValleyOfDoggos

11. "I grew up successful the '80s, and my parents were Jehovah's Witnesses. So I had them telling maine the satellite was going to end, and astatine the aforesaid time, we were doing drills successful lawsuit of atomic warfare astatine school. Every nighttime connected the news, they talked astir atomic war. I retrieve conscionable being a wreck. No kid should person to beryllium burdened by those things."

—Padashar7672

12. "When asked what happens to those ne'er heard astir Jesus, 1 'explanation' I often heard went thing like: As agelong arsenic idiosyncratic is doing what they cognize to beryllium close according to their conscience, adjacent if they don't cognize God, they'll spell to heaven. But if that's the case, past wherefore bash I request to profess the sanction of Christ? Now, adjacent if I bash everything right, the information that I'm burdened with the cognition of Christ means that if I DON'T profess his name, I'll spell to hellhole anyway. It conscionable seems benignant of ridiculous and highly unbalanced, and also, a chaotic scare tactic."

—nlightningm

13. "I near due to the fact that of fear. Religion is mostly based connected — and wouldn't relation without — the fearfulness of hellhole and 'eternal damnation.' That fearfulness has been utilized to power the masses. Historically, if authorities couldn’t enforce due societal behaviour done threats of decease oregon carnal punishment, past the thought of burning for eternity would bash it...and it has. Of course, religion has evolved and adapted implicit the centuries, but this halfway constituent hasn’t changed, and I deliberation it’s what keeps radical believing. Community plays a relation arsenic well, but I’d reason that if you removed the fearfulness of hell, religion would mostly disappear."

—MarionberryOk2874

14. "I stopped believing erstwhile I asked my pastor astir dinosaurs. He laughed and said, 'Maybe determination were dinosaurs connected Noah's ark?' That was the infinitesimal I realized, 'Oh, this is each made up. He’s conscionable making it up arsenic helium goes along, and I’m expected to judge immoderate helium says?'"

—improvised-disaster

15. "I stopped going aft I realized that lone astir 10% of the radical successful determination were really religious. Everybody other was due to the fact that they were excessively ashamed to beryllium the 1 idiosyncratic successful their assemblage who didn't spell to church. When I started to person doubts increasing up, I was conscionable told to unopen up and believe. Church conscionable didnt resonant with me. If I ever spell to church, I privation to bash it origin I bask it, not due to the fact that I request to marque appearances."

—Academic_Study5487

16. "I discontinue going to religion due to the fact that of the spiritual platitudes I received successful respect to my crab diagnosis, treatment, and remission. They were each immoderate iteration of 'god has a plan' which truly rubbed maine the incorrect way. I was precise spiritual anterior to this, but ne'er believed successful determinism. I ever felt that determinism cheapened the necessity of escaped volition and dumbed down deity to this Santa Claus quality successful the entity that lone granted wishes if you believed and prayed hard enough. Meanwhile, ceremonial homes were hauling disconnected dozens of corpses a time from my crab center, galore of whom prayed plentifulness hard capable and died anyway. Then the thought that a magic genie deity cured maine truly cheapened the information that dozens of doctors and nurses were treating maine with drugs developed by thousands of researchers moving millions of hours to fig retired however to scientifically termination my tumours with chemicals."

—uniballing

17. "My acquisition with religion differs rather a batch compared to astir people. During my childhood, I went to religion lone erstwhile contented required it — specified arsenic Christmas, baptism, weddings, etc. At nary constituent was it astir religion. I grew up believing that religion was conscionable a portion of history, but not thing radical would instrumentality seriously. I believed the lone crushed radical went to religion was for tradition's sake, not due to the fact that they actually believed successful it. It wasn't until I was 10 years aged that I realized radical really judge successful religion,"

—TheAdagio

18. "I deliberation I was successful my aboriginal teens erstwhile I realized I didn't truly judge the worldly that was being taught successful church, but my dada was a deacon, truthful we went each weekend. I struggled for years trying to fig retired what I believed and convincing myself that I wasn't atrocious for not believing successful a god. When I moved successful with my ma astatine 16, I ne'er had to spell again due to the fact that she didn't go. My ma told maine that she utilized to spell to religion erstwhile she was joined to my dad, but didn't judge it either, and went for him. Then, erstwhile I moved out, my dada stopped going. He told maine that helium felt similar it was his occupation arsenic a dada to instrumentality maine to church, but since helium didn't request to play the begetter relation successful the aforesaid way, that occupation was over. And he's ne'er been back. It's comic that we were each going due to the fact that idiosyncratic other thought we needed it."

—lightningusagi

19. "I begged to halt going to Synagogue erstwhile I got bat mitzvahed. I argued that since I’d beryllium an big according to the laws of Judaism, I should beryllium allowed to choose. But aft I was bat mitzvahed, my parents said it wouldn’t beryllium just if I didn’t spell portion my member had to. So I had to hold 3 years until helium was barroom mitzvahed. I deliberation his work was the past 1 I went to. I was questioning religion since I was seven. Having maine inactive spell until I was 15 didn’t marque maine much spiritual — it conscionable made maine hatred and loathe it more. My kids person lone been to spiritual facilities for weddings."

—minicpst

20. "My ma said we didn't person to spell anymore erstwhile we made our confirmation. So I did it, and that was the past time I went. Shortly thereafter, our household friend, who was a priest, was threatened with excommunication for being a whistleblower connected the pedophile priests. After that, my younger siblings ne'er had to marque their confirmation."

—SpecificRemove5679

21. "I consciousness similar I was calved the astir skeptical kid imaginable, and erstwhile my dada wanted maine to spell to Sunday school, helium gave maine a transcript of the Bible annotated for children, and I work the full happening screen to cover, and I was that small asshole that kept asking inconvenient questions. I astir apt went for 5–6 much sessions until I told my parents that I didn’t wanna spell anymore due to the fact that nary of it made immoderate sense. My mom‘s ever been an atheist but ne'er said thing to maine astir it, my dada grew up Catholic, and I deliberation my strenuously objecting was the opening my Mom needed to cease my attendance, which she had been secretly lobbying for since I was born."

—Himajinga

22. "When I was going done my divorce, my pastor called maine and told maine helium thought it would beryllium champion if I didn't travel backmost to religion until I 'got my beingness together.' My ex-wife, she stayed and was welcomed with unfastened arms. So, I'm a small disillusioned."

—trey74

23. "One of my 4 sons is gay. I emotion him without reservation. The religion said he’s a sinner due to the fact that of who helium is. I was instantly out."

—Purpleappointment47

24. "As a kid, I was told not to judge everything connected TV and that I should question things. At the aforesaid time, I was fed stories of a antheral who walked connected h2o and fed hundreds of radical with 1 food and 1 vessel of wine. It didn't marque sense. And erstwhile I questioned Bible stories, I got chastised — but the effect was planted."

—StarPlantMoonPraetor

25. "I stopped going erstwhile the 'holier than thou' pastor was screwing his caput for years portion helium was married.'

—hawken54321

26. "Going to a spiritual simple schoolhouse made my anxiousness mode worse than it would person been had I gone to nationalist school. So overmuch 'God is watching and volition cognize if you sin' astir apt f*cked up my (already not great) encephalon arsenic a kid."

—Karsa69420

27. "I ne'er truly could link with anyone successful the religion — they were too...churchy. They didn't look susceptible of having conversations that didn't revolve astir the religion oregon the Bible, and I couldn't conscionable speech astir that 24/7."

—TinaSparkles

28. "I near due to the fact that there's specified a deficiency of grounds for 'basic biblical truths.' And determination are mountains of grounds that contradict things claimed by the Bible!! It breaks my brain."

—nlightningm

29. "I stopped going due to the fact that I started to recognize I felt blameworthy for things that weren’t genuinely incorrect and didn’t negatively interaction others. I present don’t request the mentation of bully and evil from others; I conscionable bash my champion to beryllium a bully idiosyncratic connected my ain terms."

—thefastestfridge

30. "I near the religion due to the fact that erstwhile you truly get down to it, it’s conscionable radical telling you they cognize what happens erstwhile we die. I’m not basing my life’s ideology astir thing that’s intolerable to know."

—Gooch_Rogers

31. And finally: "I near due to the fact that I work the Bible. And aft speechmaking it, I came to precise antithetic conclusions than those I was taught successful church.

—JT_Hemingway

Now I privation to perceive from you. Have you stopped going to church? Why did you determine not to spell anymore? Tell maine your stories successful the comments below. Or if you wanna support it concealed and private, that's what the anonymous signifier is for.

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Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.