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I’m 78. I’m old. I’m out. And I’m proud.
After all, arsenic they say, “Consider the alternative.” It’s a punctuation attributed to everyone from Mark Twain to Maurice Chevalier, and it’s arsenic existent contiguous arsenic ever. With each passing birthday, and with the decease of each person and relative, we are progressively alert of the grim alternate that lies ahead. At a definite point, conscionable being live is simply a triumph.
Why should I prevarication oregon prevaricate astir however aged I am, particularly erstwhile the information is conscionable a mates of clicks away? I ever unpaid my property due to the fact that I don’t deliberation it’s thing to hide. I’m funny astir the property of others, too, truthful telling my property someway (in my mind) gives maine support to flout societal taboos and inquire astir theirs. They tin ever reply, “I’d alternatively not say,” but astir radical respond without hesitation and adjacent with alleviation — there, present that’s retired of the way! This gives america a shortcut to cognize much astir each other. Were we successful precocious schoolhouse astatine the aforesaid time? Where were we erstwhile Kennedy was shot?
I overmuch similar “old” implicit “older,” “senior,” oregon “mature.” Using euphemisms implies there’s thing shameful astir being aged alternatively than it being an achievement.
Hiding your property utilized to beryllium the norm. My mother, who ever took pridefulness successful her chic and jaunty appearance, ne'er revealed her age. I retrieve her going to a caller doc and telling maine afterward, “He said I was successful large signifier for my property — and helium doesn’t cognize however aged I truly am!”
She lived to beryllium 98, by which clip she was bragging astir her age, arsenic is my ambition, with respect to some her property and her attitude.
In my mind, if you look arsenic bully arsenic she did, it’s adjacent amended that you’re old. I privation this mindset were much common. Always a contrarian, I’m looking guardant to turning 80 — and turning immoderate heads, perhaps, particularly erstwhile radical cognize my age.
Similarly, I’m a dilatory but dependable runner, getting trophies successful 5k races lone due to the fact that determination are truthful fewer of america successful my 70+ property group. Indeed, sometimes I’m the lone pistillate runner successful the field. When I’m 80, successful little than 2 years(!), conscionable finishing the contention without walking volition beryllium an accomplishment, and I volition archer different runners astir my caller presumption arsenic an octogenarian.
To me, adjacent the connection “octogenarian” sounds alluring. Octogenarians archer maine that they are admired for doing the astir mean things — driving astatine night, selling a house, maintaining a website. If I’m successful bully health, 90 volition beryllium adjacent better, and if I unrecorded to beryllium 100, I expect to beryllium revered, astatine slightest by my progeny. I was sometimes jealous of however my sons attended to my mother, but present I spot it arsenic an fantabulous precedent and anticipation that erstwhile I’m truly old, my granddaughters volition flock astir me.
To me, “old” should beryllium an honorific, but if that’s asking excessively much, astatine the precise slightest it should beryllium a neutral word, simply designating those implicit 70. So of course, I’m an aged pistillate — though not, I hope, an aged lady. (Would an aged woman paraglide disconnected a mountainside oregon have her assemblage painted successful the nude oregon basal connected the noses of dolphins?) In my reset, “old” would simply bespeak a chronological category, alternatively of it being immoderate benignant of adjectival accusation signaling frailty and irrelevance.
To rehabilitate a word, you person usage it. That’s wherefore I deliberation radical should usage the connection “old” successful describing themselves oregon others implicit 70. Old radical similar maine person a peculiar accidental to pb by illustration and to ain their old.
After all, the champion mode to instrumentality the stigma retired of a pejorative is to usage it oneself. It was a game-changer erstwhile LGBTQ radical began utilizing “queer” to picture themselves. “Hippie” was initially a word of opprobrium utilized by the mainstream media, but wrong a mates of years, long-haired self-proclaimed freaks were proudly utilizing it. Similarly, radical successful the assemblage positivity question present notation to themselves arsenic “fat” alternatively than “large” oregon “stocky” oregon “big.”
In the conflict against ageism, it’s important to usage the connection “old,” and to usage it with attitude. I’ve lived a lot! I cognize a lot! I’m wiser than astir people, and, yeah, I’m old!
I besides similar the connection “elder,” which connotes a definite wisdom, arsenic successful “elder statesman.” As elders, aged radical person a peculiar work to aboriginal generations. Bill McKibben’s clime alteration organization, Third Act, is harnessing the idealism of aged radical to combat clime change. Now successful its 4th year, it’s unfastened to activists implicit 60 who privation to halt fossil substance accumulation and use. Its motto is “Old and Bold.” Last summer, Third Act held respective demonstrations against Citibank successful which aged radical successful handcuffs were led to constabulary vehicles. Today, oldsters similar myself marque up a immense portion of the Resistance crowds who are successful the streets demonstrating against Trump. I’m arrogant of my Boomer generation!
The existent inclination of grey oregon achromatic hairsbreadth (or streaks) being fashionable among middle-aged and aged women is simply a invited motion that they are starting to judge their age. Half of my friends person fto their hairsbreadth turn gray; 1 was white-haired astatine property 45. (For a agelong time, I conscionable assumed she was blond.) I spot elegant women who fto their hairsbreadth spell grey silently admit each different connected the streets of Manhattan.
If 1 is fortunate and/or cautious astir wellness and finances — a large “if,” I know —being aged tin beryllium a blessed time. There’s a caller field, captious gerontology, that places a caller accent connected the affirmative aspects of aging. There are less responsibilities, and determination are caller possibilities — and a greater consciousness of freedom. A 72-year-old of comparatively humble means who I cognize skis astatine a adjacent skis halfway connected his elder discount walk each weekday, each play long. A 74-year-old travels 30 miles erstwhile a week to walk the time with her granddaughter. A 62-year-old antheral competes successful duathlons abroad. Indeed, I don’t cognize anyone who’s bored successful retirement. Some proceed to bash what they utilized to do, lone present connected a freelance ground (a fiscal writer, a bundle security consultant). Others reinvent themselves. A nanny has go a wellness coach. A cameraman has go a prize-winning sculptor. A nationalist events impresario has go a highly regarded children’s publication writer.
I notation these examples truthful middle-aged radical tin expect getting aged with enthusiasm and not dread. Think of it arsenic property positivity.
Then, perhaps, radical won’t shy from the connection “old.”
If immoderate procreation tin alteration the taboo astir that word, it’s my own. Say what you volition (“OK boomer” is simply a compliment to me!), radical calved betwixt 1946 and 1962 person an outsize power connected civilization and authorities simply due to the fact that of their numbers. This “bulge successful the snake” effect, a operation coined by Landon Y. Jones, describes the mode the babe boomer procreation is moving done the ages similar a rodent done a python.
We boomers inactive exert capable taste heft to rehabilitate the connection “old” and to presumption getting aged arsenic a privilege — not a punishment. Perhaps we tin adjacent alteration the civilization astir aging, truthful radical middle-aged and younger tin really look guardant to their “golden years” — and being old.
The archetypal measurement is to usage the connection often — and with pride.
Catherine Hiller’s play Substack newsletter is The Pleasure Principle. Her pioneering book, “Just Say Yes: A Marijuana Memoir,” is being reissued connected National Pot Day, April 20, 2025, successful a 10th-anniversary edition. Her astir caller novel, “Cybill Unbound,” is astir the intersexual adventures of an older woman. Hiller is besides the writer of a abbreviated communicative collection, “Skin,” which John Updike called “Good, brave, and joyful fiction,” and 5 different novels. Short pieces person appeared successful the New York Times Sunday Review, AARP Magazine, Ms., the Girlfriend, NextTribe, the Westchester Review and the Antioch Review. She is co-producer of the documentary movie “Paul Bowles: The Complete Outsider.”
This nonfiction primitively appeared connected HuffPost successful April 2025.
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