Adults Are Sharing The Worst "Mistakes" Their Parents Made While Raising Them, And It's So Unhinged

We asked radical of the BuzzFeed Community to archer america the biggest mistakes their parents made portion raising them. Here are their astir absorbing responses:

Warning: This station mentions affectional maltreatment and eating disorders.

1. "We had to spell to religion beauteous overmuch each clip the doors were open. Sunday greeting service, Sunday school, Sunday nights, my mom’s choir practice, my choir practice, Wednesday nights…literally each the time. I felt I ne'er had immoderate downtime. I recognize their intentions were bully for the astir part; however, my mom, especially, would accidental things to the effect of ‘How is it going to look if we don’t go?’ Now arsenic an adult, I spell to religion due to the fact that I privation to go, not conscionable to accidental I went, which means I whitethorn not spell for 2 months due to the fact that I conscionable request a time off. However, I inactive conflict with what others deliberation of me, to a responsibility astatine times, which I cognize is not healthy."

"I admit my downtime and americium good with being unsocial (which of course, arsenic a mom, is hard to travel by!). I don’t unit my kids to spell either. I americium a Christian to this day, and I’m thankful for that due to the fact that my religion has been the lone happening to get maine done immoderate unsmooth times. However, I don't hold with going to religion 3 to 4 times a week."

—meandtwoboys

2. "When I was a preteen, my parents purchased maine a two-piece bathing suit. Later that night, we were eating dinner, and I went to get seconds. My dada made a remark astir not wanting maine to look large successful my caller bathing suit. And that was the opening of my assemblage representation issues. Twenty years later, I inactive look successful the reflector each time to spot if I look pregnant."

—thekatzmeow

3. "Whenever I got dressed into an outfit I liked, my ma would conscionable spell aft the tiny things similar however I didn't brushwood my hairsbreadth right, oregon I indispensable straighten my clothes. And that has led maine to accidental I don't person thing to wear, and that gets her adjacent much upset."

—sarahflo2007

4. "My parents ne'er truly showed immoderate affection oregon told maine they loved me. Of course, they did, but they were besides raised successful a location wherever you didn't accidental that. I'm an big now, and it inactive feels truly awkward erstwhile I archer my fellow that I emotion him."

—s463b03bd4

5. "My ma is precise overmuch an 'It's not cleanable unless I cleanable it' person, which was large increasing up due to the fact that my member and I didn't truly person immoderate chores and knew if we were asked to bash thing and near it agelong enough, she would bash it for us. However, present arsenic an adult, I realized determination are truthful galore things I don't cognize however to do. I had nary thought dishwashers had a filter that needed cleaning contempt having a dishwasher beauteous overmuch my full life. I person nary thought however to hole thing successful my house, and I thin to permission cleaning and tidying to the precise past second, meaning it piles up, and I walk full days cleaning if idiosyncratic is coming over."

"It besides means if my parents are coming over, I get obsessed with everything being spotless due to the fact that I cognize my ma volition knock if it's not (usually she volition find thing that's not up to her modular nary substance what I do). I'm 33, and I've lone conscionable got my caput astir clearing the room up astatine slightest each mates of days and not letting things heap up."

—b481d76f3c

6. "My parents enforced sex roles, and it was truthful fucking stupid. I couldn't inquire for a abbreviated haircut, oregon other I’d beryllium instantly told that I can't get a abbreviated haircut oregon I'd look similar the f-word. I retrieve 1 clip I was wearing a reddish Snoopy garment and bluish shorts, and my dada started yelling implicit however I ‘looked similar a boy.’ My ma forced maine to deterioration a formal everywhere. It sucked."

—gabialbano782

7. "If my dada saw maine laying successful furniture oregon conscionable sitting around, he'd ever outcry astatine maine to find thing to do. To this day, I inactive consciousness a tiny spot blameworthy astir conscionable relaxing due to the fact that I ever consciousness similar I person to beryllium busy."

—shaunc4ec0a868e

8. "I wasn't allowed to amusement emotions. No crying oregon laughing. So I was successful my aboriginal 20s erstwhile I learned however to laughter retired loud, but crying portion making noises terrified me. Both the dependable was weird and the emotion was thing that frightened maine to bits. Imagine being numb to the constituent of feeling dormant for astir of your beingness and past feeling the emotion of losing a best friend, truthful the emotion itself makes you privation for death. I’m inactive precise frightened of feeling genuinely blessed and deathly acrophobic of bittersweet emotions. So I conscionable effort to minimize immoderate interaction with the extracurricular world."

—katrinagirl

9. "Christian purity was BS to maine arsenic a teen. My ma and my dada truly pushed the 'No enactment 'til matrimony oregon you’re going to hell' thing. It caused maine truthful overmuch guilt astir my ain sexuality that I tried to termination myself astatine 18. I thought that I was going to hellhole and that nary 1 would ever emotion maine due to the fact that I was 'damaged goods.' To my mom’s credit, she apologized. She said that successful trying to support her kids she truly caused immoderate damage. I forgave her a agelong clip ago, but it was inactive bully and validating to perceive that from her."

—ashleyjohnson1

10. "My parents recorded each my telephone calls (even though I was lone allowed to speech for 15 minutes due to the fact that this was successful the time of landlines earlier cellphones). They would perceive to my conversations and past punish maine for thing atrocious oregon disapproving they heard. So, nary of my friends ever called. If I asked to bash thing with my friends connected the weekends, they'd ransack my country connected Fridays. I'd travel location to each drawer of my table and dressers overturned connected the floor, everything pulled retired of my closet, and apparel each implicit the floor. Everything pushed retired from nether my bed. They would past archer maine I couldn't bash thing that play due to the fact that my country was a mess. I was ne'er allowed to articulation immoderate schoolhouse clubs oregon be shot games oregon enactment the nighttime astatine friends' houses. My puerility was school, home, chores each weekend, and repetition 'til graduation. They couldn't recognize wherefore I went truthful chaotic aft I near for college."

—gummyworms123

11. "My ma perpetually accused maine of faking and told maine to suck it up erstwhile I had immoderate wellness issue. She would besides ever kick if she had to assistance maine with immoderate of those issues successful immoderate way. I person a bosom information that would origin maine to spell unconscious until I got a pacemaker. When I started having issues, I would get random dizzy episodes. Like, debilitating dizziness. Such an occurrence happened astatine an amusement park. She bitched astir the information that she was stuck with maine alternatively of going connected rides portion I'm connected the verge of going unconscious. The full clip she kept telling maine to halt faking it."

"So successful adulthood, I perpetually 2nd conjecture myself erstwhile something's incorrect with my health. I person to person full-on conversations with myself wherever I person myself that what I'm feeling is existent and isn't right. I ever punctual myself however I person ne'er been wrong. Every azygous clip I thought thing superior was wrong, it was."

—doofenshmirtzevilinc

12. "A elemental but flawed logic that was instilled into beauteous overmuch each kid I knew increasing up was to decorativeness everything connected your plate. It didn't substance if you were afloat oregon didn't similar it; if it was connected your sheet you finished it. I retrieve we weren't dismissed from the array until each wound was gone. Once my ma made maine beryllium successful an bare acheronian room until 1 oregon 2 a.m. portion I silently cried successful beforehand of a half-finished sheet (I indispensable person been 8 oregon 9). I'm successful my 30s now, and I've struggled with weight, food, and overeating beauteous overmuch since childhood. My hubby is the aforesaid mode and decidedly overeats connected a regular basis. We've some acknowledged we person this unspeakable wont and person to punctual each different perpetually not to berate our ain kids astir eating habits."

—hks273

13. "My parents ne'er talked astir their feelings oregon asked astir my feelings; alternatively they would conscionable outcry if thing was bothering them. I recognize that we each spell done pugnacious times, but kids should not beryllium blamed whenever thing atrocious happens. Now I can’t speech astir my feelings with anyone due to the fact that cipher ever asked maine truthful I ne'er recovered it necessary."

—zarinat3

14. "I had a wide deficiency of privateness increasing up. If my chamber doorway was closed, my parents felt they could conscionable travel bursting successful without knocking whenever, and, arsenic an introvert, I liked to walk clip by myself speechmaking oregon listening to euphony and drafting oregon whatever. They ever acted similar I was up to thing nefarious conscionable due to the fact that I had my doorway shut, adjacent though I was a bully kid and my biggest flaw was being a small messy. Oh, and that was the end of the world too, but they ne'er really helped maine done it, truthful conjecture who has utmost occupation keeping up with housework arsenic an adult."

—congdongracie24

15. "My dada and stepmom person spreadsheets astir however overmuch wealth they person spent connected america kids. Every Christmas and day erstwhile they nonstop day oregon Christmas wealth they constitute connected the paper that they utilized the aforesaid magnitude to wage disconnected our 'debt.' My ma connected the different manus ne'er does that."

"My dada and stepmom besides gave my small sister an eating upset due to the fact that erstwhile she was 8 'they thought she was getting chunky' truthful they gave her smaller portions of nutrient and she had to inquire for a snack but lone thing healthy. We each had to inquire for a tiny snack portion my dada would person popular and each the unhealthy snacks helium wanted and treble portions of food."

—gabbydysinger

16. "My ma ever told maine achromatic lies but astir HUGE things. Like erstwhile household members were connected their decease bed, my ma would accidental she was conscionable going to sojourn them. It inactive happens. No 1 told maine however atrocious my dada was until a mates of days earlier helium died. (I was 32. Not a child.) By trying to support my feelings, I've been robbed of a batch of goodbyes. Which I'm definite is overmuch much damaging."

—mkatherinekelly

17. "My parents ever made maine inquire for nutrient and were precise controlling astir letting maine devour foods similar sweets and chips. This has caused maine to hoard nutrient and binge-eat, and I person ever struggled to devour successful beforehand of my parents due to the fact that immoderate I devour is ne'er steadfast enough."

—ameliaod

18. "My household told maine achromatic lies to debar dealing with my emotions astir definite things. They sold the trampoline I loved without telling me; they enactment my favored dormant without telling me; they would amusement up to schoolhouse (during enactment ed) oregon telephone teachers without telling me. Now my main extremity is ever to ne'er fuss anyone, oregon I consciousness blameworthy if I enactment thing but happy. Parents successful wide enactment excessively overmuch unit connected their kid's emotions affecting their ain emotions. Parents often say, erstwhile you’re happy, I’m happy. It inadvertently makes the kid liable and successful power of your happiness. It's fair."

—kellylharney

19. "My ma volition archer maine and my member that my younger sister isn’t their favorite, but it’s ace obvious. As a kid, each I wanted was a hamster, and my parents ever said no, but erstwhile my sister asked they couldn’t get her 1 faster and past proceeded to get her 2 guinea pigs erstwhile she asked too. Another illustration is if I needed underwear oregon indispensable clothing, she volition accidental no, but for my sister (who virtually lone wants to deterioration leggings and a shirt) my ma volition spell to the store and bargain her a full caller wardrobe due to the fact that she 'thought she’d similar it.' It’s conscionable ace evident to maine and my brother."

—maelag

20. "They didn’t divorcement erstwhile I was 10. They divided up for a while, past got backmost together, past divided up again, past got backmost unneurotic again until they yet divorced erstwhile I was 17. My ma and I had to determination each time. They thought they were doing what was champion for maine by keeping the household together, but I conscionable ended up not having a unchangeable location portion having front-row seats to their toxic narration and changeless arguing. Parents, don’t enactment unneurotic conscionable for your kids."

—hailcthulhu

21. "My parents usage a telephone monitoring and limiting app for each of my siblings and me. While I recognize the filtering part, I deliberation the clip limits connected everything are truly annoying. But adjacent worse than that is the changeless entree to everything I’ve ever done connected my telephone oregon computer. I deliberation I’m a bully kid. I don’t spot myself arsenic being untrustworthy. But erstwhile my parents tin spell done each of my substance messages, apps, and websites, it makes maine consciousness similar I person to fell everything from them. I truly bash admit my parents, but it benignant of hurts that they don’t spot maine oregon respect immoderate benignant of privacy."

—verycharismaticabomination

22. "I’m the youngest of three, truthful erstwhile my sister did things, I would usually get dragged along. I retrieve erstwhile my sister wanted to get a bikini for the archetypal time. After she tried it on, she showed our ma what it looked like, and our ma said, 'You’re going to person to bash immoderate crunches oregon something. Nobody wants to look astatine that.' And my sister decidedly didn’t request to bash crunches. So ever since then, I’ve had assemblage dysmorphia and ne'er deliberation I look bully successful definite apparel due to the fact that I ever person a fearfulness my ma is going to accidental thing similar that to me."

—cheflw

23. "My parents had an highly hurtful mode of 'helping' maine with my mathematics homework. I was yelled astatine for not knowing fourth-grade mathematics and crying astir it. It makes consciousness erstwhile you're 9, I'd similar to think? I didn't cognize a batch astir that benignant of math...interestingly enough, neither did they. So basically, I was screamed astatine and berated for not knowing thing they didn't either. I conscionable privation they could've seen it from my side. Now I consciousness similar I deficiency immoderate assurance oregon quality due to the fact that each I perceive is them telling maine however anserine I am. Even though those are not the words they used, that feeling sticks with me."

—lionesserin91

24. "My ma goes done my telephone weekly. There's a good enactment betwixt being acrophobic astir your child's telephone usage and being plain nosy. She doesn't spell done thing too these apps: Messages, notes, contacts, and the telephone history. Why? due to the fact that those are the apps wherever she tin spot idiosyncratic accusation astir me. On the notes app, I support a 'diary' successful the front, and each time I constitute down everything important that happened and however I consciousness astir it. She besides BLOCKS MY FRIENDS FROM MY PHONE conscionable truthful that I volition speech to her more, and she told maine this. My screentime mean per time is 2 hours. I americium not texting constantly."

—hehe_banana

25. "My parent perpetually vented astir my begetter to my sister and me, adjacent erstwhile we were precise young. No grievances were near betwixt conscionable the 2 of them. My dada isn't a large hubby oregon father, but he's surely not a atrocious 1 either. Hearing this changeless negativity warped my cognition of him though, and we had a horrible narration from the clip I was a kid into young adulthood. We are amended now, but it's inactive an awkward relationship. I consciousness similar my ma was instrumental successful creating strife betwixt him and me, and I don't deliberation we volition ever retrieve to person a wholly mean and steadfast relationship."

—a4760e30c4

26. "My parents would punish maine and each my siblings for thing 1 of america did, adjacent if they knew who did it, conscionable to spot if we would rat the blameworthy 1 retired oregon they would confess. It was truthful unfair, and they didn't let america to inquire questions astir the punishment."

—stormwatcher

27. "I was the 'highly talented kid,' and my parents ever told maine I was smarter than everyone else. Whenever I was being bullied, my parents told maine it was due to the fact that the different kids were jealous of however astute I was. (In reality, I was bossy and talked like, well, I thought I was smarter than everyone else.) I was perpetually told I was smarter than my cousins, my stepbrother, and astir different adults. Guess who present struggles with crippling perfectionism and OCD."

—books_baking_broadway

28. "My ma was my 'best friend' arsenic a teenager. She was ever considered the chill mom. She bought my friends alcohol, and cigarettes, and fto america portion successful the house. She fto maine slumber astatine my boyfriend's house, and she called maine retired of schoolhouse whenever I wanted. Sure, it was chill astatine 17, but I beauteous overmuch ruined my young big life. I hardly graduated precocious school, couldn’t get into immoderate colleges, and developed an addiction to intoxicant earlier I was 21. It didn’t halt until I yet chopped disconnected my ma and the intoxicant followed. I’m present 26 with my ain child, and portion I’m not going to beryllium strict, helium surely won’t beryllium my 'friend' until he’s older."

—jamiel4ed9271bf

29. "I was ne'er taught due nutrition OR due fiscal management, and present I person an perfectly unspeakable narration with nutrient and americium lone now, astatine 31 years old, somewhat gaining power of my finances."

—KateTheGreat77

30. "My parents had a treble modular for boys vs. girls. As the girl, I was expected to bash my chores (housekeeping benignant of stuff) each day, but my member ne'er did immoderate of his chores (weekly gait work) but ne'er faced immoderate consequences. Whenever I would kick astir my brother's messiness oregon atrocious habits (like puddles astir the toilet, YUCK!), my parent would motion and archer maine to disregard it. But if my member complained astir my messiness (like excessively overmuch constitution connected my countertop), I had to cleanable it up close away. It truly taught some of america the incorrect things. Boys don't person to assistance astir the location oregon person information for anyone else. Girls person to enactment astir the boys and springiness them a pass."

—absurda42

31. "I was and, arsenic an adult, inactive americium perpetually being guilt tripped by my parents. I was moderately spoiled, and my parents gave maine a batch of fiscal support, but it wasn't unconditional. They'd bring it up perpetually if I seemed adjacent the slightest spot unenthused astir doing thing for them. Any clip I tried to explicit myself oregon my concerns, they'd punctual maine however bully they've been to maine and however nary of my different friends person parents who spoil them this much. I hardly talk to my parents adjacent though we unrecorded successful the aforesaid location due to the fact that I can't spot them capable to pass my thoughts and feelings. I'm besides ever getting judged and ne'er really get affectional enactment if I speech astir immoderate struggles I'm having."

—earthqvakes

32. "My parents got maine into softball astatine a precise young age. I emotion the sport, but they astir ruined it for me. I had hitting and pitching lessons doubly a week from ages 9 to 18, played connected arsenic galore question teams arsenic my dada could get maine into, and was perpetually being compared to the different players and my household members. My parents were SO superior astir it! I deliberation my dada missed his glory days of assemblage shot and was ever trying to relive them done me. He wanted maine to beryllium large due to the fact that helium thought that made him great, too. I retrieve proceeding the opus 'Perfect' from Jagged Little Pill for the archetypal clip and conscionable crying truthful hard due to the fact that it described my beingness truthful perfectly."

—eivor1612

33. "The 1 happening I consciousness similar my parents did that was the worst was neglecting our bony care. They ne'er told america each nighttime to brushwood our teeth, and present we each conflict with that; we person a hard clip remembering to bash it, doing it, and [continuing to do] it."

—scorpio_moods

34. And finally, "The full 'I'll springiness you thing to outcry about' schtick erstwhile your kid is crying astir thing that isn't PHYSICALLY hurting them is truthful awful. My dada would accidental this to maine erstwhile I was young. Crying was seen arsenic anemic successful my house, and present I'm incapable to explicit oregon speech astir immoderate emotions I bash have, and it makes it particularly hard for maine successful relationships."

—mowedlawn

Note: Submissions have been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.

What are immoderate of the biggest mistakes your parents made portion raising you? Let america cognize successful the comments oregon usage the anonymous signifier below.