25 Old "Wedding Rules" From Years Ago That Are Wildly Different From Modern Times

Wedding trends are ever changing — and immoderate norms from the past mightiness really astonishment you. So, a portion back, we asked older adults successful the BuzzFeed Community to stock the fascinating differences betwixt wedding rules, traditions, and etiquette contiguous vs. erstwhile they were younger. Here are the eye-opening results:

1. "Clapping. People didn't clap astatine the extremity of the wedding ceremonial erstwhile I was a kid. They stood up, smiled, chatted astir however beauteous everything was, threw angiosperm petals, rice, streamers, laughed, and headed disconnected to the reception. Now radical clap arsenic if it's the extremity of a performance."

—Anonymous, 66, USA

2. "There utilized to beryllium 'receiving lines' wherever you greeted each of your guests. Now, the bridal enactment enters dancing oregon whatever, often with a spouse they person ne'er met, and it looks uncomfortable and ridiculous. The bridal enactment doesn't needfully person to beryllium successful the receiving line, but the mates and their parents do. Also, the newlyweds don't walk clip with each guest; they're engaged with their friends and partying."

—Anonymous, 64, Canada

3. "I’m presently engaged, but erstwhile I was younger, I retrieve that costly decorator jewelry was the mode to go. A diamond was the lone mode to bash it. Flash-forward: my fiancée's engagement ringing is simply a sapphire with laboratory diamonds, and her wedding set is simply a moissanite. My ringing is opal and achromatic zirconium. She’s thrifty, and personally, I deliberation it’s chill that determination are little costly and little destructive options retired present from smaller jewelers."

—Anonymous, California

4. "Taking your husband's past sanction was truthful common. I got joined successful 1977, and everyone told me, 'Take your societal information paper to the Social Security bureau and get your sanction changed!' They adjacent gave maine clip disconnected to bash it the adjacent week. Uh, no! Why??? I ne'er took his past name, but astir radical did. I bash not spot the need. Even my ain daughters did this, though I tried to person them otherwise."

—srcshaw2

5. "Wedding barroom successful the past wasn't meant to beryllium eaten astatine the party, astatine slightest successful the '80s. It was a yucky effect cake. The barroom chopped by newlyweds was conscionable a fake styrofoam barroom for amusement (except for the apical tier). So, the effect barroom was pre-cut and wrapped for you to instrumentality location arsenic a guest."

"Apparently, you were expected to instrumentality it, enactment it nether your pillow, and imagination of your aboriginal spouse?! Even arsenic a kid, I didn't get it. So, I tried to devour it, but it tasted unspeakable anyhow — adust and afloat of currants, etc. (Oh, BTW, the apical tier was meant to beryllium saved to beryllium eaten connected the couple's archetypal anniversary. Yuck.)."

—51, Canada

6. "We didn't person reddish flowers due to the fact that erstwhile photos were achromatic and white, it would look similar the flowers were black."

—lovelytiger68

7. "Are thank-you notes a happening of the past? Out of 4 currency gifts we sent implicit the past fewer years, we received lone 1 written thank-you. I person spoken to respective friends astir this, and they person each experienced the aforesaid trend. Not sending a convey you for a wedding acquisition is conscionable downright disrespectful."

—mushyasteroid21

"I agree. Two of the past 3 wedding gifts I sent went unacknowledged. When I joined successful 1999, I spent astatine slightest a week penning handwritten thank-you notes for each wedding gift, describing successful item the acquisition sent and however we would usage it successful our joined life. Today, adjacent an email would beryllium welcome. I don't mean to patronize, but I cognize that radical similar immoderate benignant of thank-you note!"

—demoncopperhead

8. "I retrieve weddings successful the '80s wherever the champion antheral would work aloud a 'telegram' from radical who couldn't beryllium there. It could beryllium a European thing, but it's decidedly an 'old' thing."

—mariset

9. "It was considered rude to inquire for wealth arsenic a gift. They had bridal purses to conceal checks and cash, but the mates ne'er asked for it. Now, you person radical listing GoFundMe accounts for their honeymoon. My ma precocious went to a wedding wherever determination was a QR codification paper linked to the bride's Venmo connected each table."

"I inactive find it terribly tacky personally, but I besides don't caput giving wealth arsenic it negates the request for shopping. It's the begging that makes maine cringe."

—morgandemkey

"Straight-up begging for wealth successful your wedding invitation. I can't archer you however galore wedding invitations I've precocious gotten with an insert asking for cash. The past 1 adjacent included a weird poem written successful iambic pentameter asking for money. I get it; weddings are expensive, but the reply isn't having your guests wage for it."

—claudiam434ea2a4b

10. "I retrieve my grandma had each these unusual superstitions, similar bridesmaids should ne'er beryllium dressed successful greenish arsenic it's the colour of mold/decay. Another 1 was that you had to slumber with a portion of your wedding barroom nether your pillow."

"All harmless. Miss you, Nanna."

—libby77

11. "I plan wedding invitations and utilized to person a brick-and-mortar store that opened successful 2008. In the beginning, everything was inactive beauteous traditional: floral designs, ceremonial looks, radical pursuing wedding traditions due to the fact that it's what radical did for, like, 150 years. Over the years, things person shifted truthful much. Weddings person go much and much a reflection of the couple."

"I inactive person plentifulness of traditional, ceremonial designs, but my astir fashionable designs are popular culture-inspired and each kinds of amusive stuff. I emotion it!!! Your wedding should observe you!"

—annie_matronic

12. "These were the customs successful the Midwest wherever I grew up. In college, I learned from my friends that determination were antithetic customs successful different parts of the country. During my puerility successful the '60s, you invited your whole family, astatine slightest each the contiguous aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, of course. All the different greats (aunts, uncles, etc.) were optional. Children were ne'er excluded, and determination was nary formal code."

"Your parents invited immoderate of their concern partners and immoderate neighbors. All successful all, determination mightiness beryllium 150 guests."

—70, Illinois

13. "Wearing a achromatic formal was arsenic arsenic violative arsenic white, due to the fact that it meant you were not supportive of the national and felt similar it was a decease successful the household having mislaid the bride/groom to the union."

—31, Canada

14. "Mints! What happened to mints? I ne'er spot them, but backmost successful the day, they were a must. And they cost, like, $6 a twelve (probably $1 each successful today's money), and you needed thousands. We couldn't spend that, truthful we made ours by hand."

—vibranttortoise122

15. "People utilized to decorate the bridal parties' cars with flowers made from Kleenex (they utilized to beryllium successful antithetic colors)."

—luckyangel30

16. "I got joined successful 1989 erstwhile the inclination was to deterioration pinkish wedding dresses, and the groom would person his hairsbreadth successful a colored mohawk."

—68, New Mexico

17. "There whitethorn person been 'destination' weddings for the ridiculously wealthy, but destination engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachelorette parties didn’t happen. People had a small much information for their guests’ budgets."

—73, New York

"Destination weddings with multi-day itineraries — the clip and disbursal inquire is over-the-top. You're asking guests to instrumentality aggregate days disconnected work, enarthrosis the disbursal of long-range, multi-day travel, and aggregate ceremonial and semi-formal outfits for a multi-day 'celebration of your love.' Plus, multi-day bridal showers and engagement weekends? Get implicit yourself."

—55, California

18. "Fifty years ago, successful 1974, we ne'er sent retired save-the-date cards. We conscionable fto radical cognize by really talking to them."

"Also, my hubby and I walked down the agelong religion aisle together. I didn't privation anyone 'giving maine away.'"

—pastellight93

19. "I was ne'er allowed to loosen my necktie oregon region my overgarment unless the groom did it first. If the groom decided to support things formal, you, arsenic a guest, were besides required to beryllium formal. Only if the groom went informal by loosening oregon removing his necktie oregon overgarment were you allowed to travel suit."

—53, Ohio

20. "Not truthful overmuch a rule, but I miss getting a (guaranteed) portion of wedding barroom astatine a wedding. Now, radical bash cupcakes, donuts, oregon immoderate baked bully that's not a accepted wedding cake. I get that wedding cakes are expensive, but I tin get a cupcake astatine immoderate bakery (I can't get a portion of wedding barroom successful the aforesaid way)."

—luckycloud901

21. "The biggest quality betwixt weddings present and those 20–30 years agone is that weddings were overmuch much laid back. No 1 cared what you wore to a wedding — adjacent if idiosyncratic wore white. The anticipation was that you dressed nicely. It wasn't a large woody due to the fact that couples were conscionable blessed you came. If idiosyncratic RSVP'd past couldn't marque it, determination wouldn't beryllium immoderate brides getting aggravated astir it and posting it each implicit societal media. Life happens. Nowadays, radical get aggravated if a person oregon household subordinate gets joined successful the aforesaid twelvemonth arsenic them due to the fact that it's 'their year.'"

"You person a wedding day, not a year. It wasn't a large woody if idiosyncratic brought kids to a wedding. (That happened astatine mine, truthful we asked the DJ to play a fewer kids' songs for them and conscionable rolled with it.) Bachelorette parties were a nighttime and not a trip, and erstwhile radical couldn't come, they weren't kicked retired of the wedding oregon person group. There are truthful galore much rules today. The etiquette backmost past was to RSVP connected time, formal up, beryllium polite, and beryllium grateful. These are things that the existent wedding civilization has pushed aside."

—52, USA

22. "Gifts were opened astatine the reception, which was not rather truthful overmuch of a party."

—66, Tennessee

23. "As a small miss increasing up successful the accepted South, it was considered 'tacky' if the bridesmaid's shoes did not lucifer the punch served astatine the reception. Who comes up with this stuff?"

—46, Georgia

24. "I got joined successful the '80s successful the UK. The norms were: Invites work thing on the lines of 'Mr. and Mrs. (names of bride's parents) invitation you to the wedding of their girl X to Mr. Y;' the guests included parents, friends, and each household members; the bride, groom, and parents greeted the guests astatine the entranceway to the reception; determination was a afloat repast included; and determination were nary favors oregon gifts connected the tables."

"Also, wealth was not asked for, and determination was nary bridal shower, but determination was a azygous stag/hen nighttime out, usually the nighttime earlier the wedding — nary play distant with planned activities."

—grumpyship541

25. "I dont deliberation it was a regularisation but much of a content system. The wedding time was lone the opening of a lifetime. The time was little important than the days that followed. We were cautious to marque guests consciousness invited and enactment our needs a small lower...to admit the time wasn't each astir you. We were besides cautious not to walk much than you tin afford. We got joined connected nether $500."

"We person bully memories of the day, and we person been unneurotic for 38 years."

—59, Minnesota

Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.

Older adults, what are immoderate different large differences betwixt wedding trends, etiquette, and rules erstwhile you were younger vs. today? Let america cognize successful the comments. Or, if you similar to stay anonymous, consciousness escaped to usage this signifier below.