25 Breakup Lines That Are So Brutal, They'll Make You Gasp Repeatedly And Yell, "Oh My God, The Audacity!!!"

Breakups are arguably the worst. And it makes sense: The connection break is close determination successful the name. You’re taking thing aggravated and electric, and past snap — it’s over. Sometimes it feels similar mourning a beingness loss. Other times, it’s much of a “Whew, gladsome that’s done” suspiration of relief. Either way, there’s nary one-size-fits-all breakup story. But what bash you adjacent bash erstwhile idiosyncratic hits you with the astir perfectly unreasonable breakup excuse? It’s honestly benignant of offensive. You enactment your heart, soul, and clip into someone, and they travel backmost with “We’re done due to the fact that you cheated...in my mind.” Oh, OK! Cool-cool. A batch of chaotic worldly happens successful my caput excessively — but, you cognize that isn't reality...right?!? Blink twice.

We dug up immoderate genuinely unhinged breakup excuses from Reddit in a erstwhile post — and past turned it implicit to the BuzzFeed Community to spot if you had immoderate to add. And I indispensable say, you understood the assignment. The anonymous signifier was full, and the comments conception was mayhem, and I’m present emotionally winded from speechmaking them all. So drawback a snack, possibly a accent shot — these breakup excuses volition marque your "it's not you, it's me" look similar child's play...

1. "He said helium was leaving maine and our 2 children due to the fact that the pistillate helium was having an matter with had 4 kids who were 'basically animals' and she needed his help."

—Anonymous

2. "I got breached up with for having too galore orgasms. In his mind, due to the fact that I came truthful easily, I indispensable person slept with each feline connected the block. What helium didn’t cognize was I’m hyperorgasmic."

—pamelaehn

3. "He broke up with maine aft 3 years. He told maine that helium wanted to 'experience' a pistillate of each contention earlier helium got married. I asked him, incredulous, if helium had a checklist, and helium said, 'Yeah, benignant of.'"

—morganstar

4. "My hubby of 10 years told maine that helium loved being the halfway of attention, and it diminished his charismatic glow to person a spouse. He was 58 astatine the time. A existent fable successful his ain mind!"

—Anonymous

5. "My ex accused maine of having an matter with a coworker due to the fact that I dropped him disconnected astatine his location due to the fact that his car was successful the shop. When I said that my ETA was lone 5 minutes later, truthful I couldn't person dropped him disconnected and cheated successful that time, helium said, 'Well, you cheated successful my mind.'"

—Anonymous

6. "He said I didn't emotion him capable due to the fact that I wouldn't spell carnivore hunting with him."

—Anonymous

7. "In precocious school, I was with this guy. He saw pictures of maine from the erstwhile twelvemonth — earlier I was diagnosed with crab — and asked wherefore my hairsbreadth wasn’t the aforesaid colour. I told him that due to the fact that chemo caused maine to suffer my hair, I wore a wig. Two days later, helium broke up with me. He swore it was due to the fact that helium needed to absorption connected school. It was the summer. A fewer years ago, helium yet admitted helium was immature and didn’t cognize however to grip it."

—maedessaint

8. "I broke up with him erstwhile helium wholly ghosted maine aft a calamity had occurred to me. His effect was that I wasn’t societal capable for him anyway, past proceeded to, down my back, email each *my* friends with a alternatively long, passive-aggressive laundry database of what was truthful sadly incorrect with me, apologizing to them, and saying *he* had initiated the breakup arsenic a result. I luckily recovered retired that each my friends are existent ones."

—Anonymous

9. "When I was successful college, I dated a precocious schoolhouse senior. I decided that I didn't privation to slumber with her due to the fact that my sister got large young, and I saw however that turned out. I dreamed astir going to college, and I didn't privation to hazard anything. The miss broke up with me, and a communal person told maine she broke up with maine due to the fact that I wouldn’t enactment out, and she couldn’t archer her friends astatine schoolhouse that we had sex. Not definite wherefore she didn’t conscionable prevarication similar everyone else."

—Anonymous

10. "I was told, 'I recovered idiosyncratic who looks akin to you, but the quality is, she's blessed each the time, and you're not.'"

—Anonymous

11. "I was dating this feline the summertime earlier we went to antithetic universities. The past nighttime of summer, helium confessed his emotion for me. I was young, naive, and hesitant astir agelong region — but I agreed to springiness it a shot. He adjacent booked a formation to sojourn maine six weeks aboriginal for speechmaking week. When helium came, it was great, but it inactive didn't consciousness right. He left, and I started to get symptom and different unmentionable symptoms successful my confederate regions. I went to the doctor, and she told maine that I should get tested for an STI. I said that I've lone slept with the aforesaid idiosyncratic for six months. And past she said, 'But person they lone slept with you? You mightiness person to inquire them.' So I did. I said I wasn't accusing him oregon anything, but since I was a broke student, I didn't privation to wage for the trial if determination was zero accidental of it being an STI. He texted me, 'Yeah, you'd amended get checked out.' That was it. Never got an apology. Nothing. Dodged a bullet."

—Anonymous

12. "He said that I was excessively young for him, aft we dated for 2 years."

—Anonymous

13. "After 18 years unneurotic and 3 kids, helium told maine helium was polyamorous, was sleeping with my champion friend, and said that if I didn't enactment his lifestyle, that was on me. He told maine I besides wasn't a existent person to my present ex-best person if I decided to shame her for allowing him to unrecorded retired his lifestyle."

—Anonymous

14. "I had a feline interruption up with maine by saying helium needed to ore connected school. We remained friends until helium told maine helium was going location to get engaged to a miss helium had told maine was just a friend."

—tammylovatob

15. "In university, I was surviving with my semipermanent fellow from backmost home. One time, I had to miss his grandfather's day meal due to the fact that I had an exam. At the dinner, his gramps said that helium was grateful for his wife, whom helium couldn't unrecorded without. My fellow broke up with me, saying that portion astatine that dinner, helium realized that helium could unrecorded without me."

—Anonymous

16. "I got dumped erstwhile due to the fact that I refused to bushed up her father, who had shouted astatine her for throwing a portion astatine her parent during a insignificant disagreement astatine Christmas dinner."

—Sasha Kyääti

17. "She dumped maine due to the fact that she said that it felt that I would bash thing for her. I replied, 'Because I would bash thing for you.' I didn’t cognize that being a large fellow was a bully crushed to dump idiosyncratic — particularly erstwhile she confessed she wanted to get joined and person kids with me, not a period earlier that."

—Anonymous

18. "This feline dumped maine due to the fact that helium thought I was ever looking down connected him. He was 5'2", I'm 5'8" — was I expected to kneel down and look him successful the oculus each time?"

—Anonymous

19. "She broke up with maine due to the fact that she said we were too compatible."

—Anonymous

20. "He said helium broke up with maine due to the fact that I wasn't toxic capable for him."

—Anonymous

21. "When I asked for the crushed helium was breaking up with me, helium simply said, 'I told you erstwhile we started dating I was an asshole.' And past helium shrugged."

—Anonymous

22. "He said that helium lone dated maine for six months to get implicit his ex. In his words, 'It wasn't astir you, I would person done that to anyone.' That was his effort astatine being comforting, by the way."

—Anonymous

23. "When I was thirteen, I broke up with my 'boyfriend' due to the fact that I was excessively successful emotion with Queen’s drummer, Roger Taylor, and I didn’t deliberation it was just to my 'boyfriend' that my bosom belonged to another. Here I am, implicit 40 years later, and I STILL person a crush connected Roger. 😂"

—Anonymous

24. "I was dating a feline astatine 17 and declined having enactment with him for idiosyncratic reasons. I past recovered retired that my champion person slept with him. When I confronted her, she told maine that she knew however overmuch I liked him, and lone slept with him to substance his affection for me, due to the fact that men person needs and she didn't privation him to interruption up with me. I was beauteous naive past and apologized to her. But past a twelvemonth later, she slept with my adjacent boyfriend, and for immoderate crushed this miss is inactive convinced I was successful the wrong."

—Anonymous

25. And past but not least: "I don’t retrieve each the details, but the last country was her pounding connected the extortion of her car, screaming, 'I can’t beryllium with you, you thrust maine crazy!' It was truthful wild, truthful honest, and truthful hilarious that I was like, 'I tin respect that.' We are inactive friends 30 years later."

—Anonymous

So, what bash you think? Do you person a chaotic breakup communicative that could apical these? Drop it successful the anonymous signifier oregon the comments below, and don’t clasp back. As for mine...let’s accidental I whitethorn oregon whitethorn not person slipped it successful arsenic 1 of the anonymous entries. And you’ll ne'er conjecture which one’s mine. 😈

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Note: Some responses person been edited for magnitude and/or clarity.